Ravenfire Ashe: Third Year
by Fanfictions4everscar
Summary: Hello, my name is Ravenfire Ashe. Join me as I go through my third year at Hogwarts. On top of my classes, I have to worry about boy drama, friendships, and Sirius Black. And of course, let's not forget the looming prophecy that says this thirteen-year-old is to be the Dark Lord's right-hand when he returns. (This story will change to M later on)
1. Chapter 1

**Hello everyone! Welcome to 2017! I hope the year holds nothing but positivity for all of us. New year, new story! So here's Ravenfire Ashe: Third Year. I hope you all enjoy.**

 **Chapter One**

"You were _inside_ the Chamber of Secrets?" Draco asked eagerly.

"Yes," I retorted rather irritably, "Can we please not talk about it here?"

In fact, I wouldn't feel comfortable talking about it until I returned to Hogwarts. It was currently June twenty-eighth, and I was at Malfoy Manor for the first time since the end of the school year. This shared birthday party that we were having was the first time I'd even seen Draco since I left him in the Slytherin common room in order to study for final exams.

Once I left Hogwarts with Mr. Malfoy after my adventures in the Chamber, I hadn't gone back to Hogwarts. It was too close to the end of the year, and Dumbledore had written to me, explaining that I needed rest and would be exempt from my final exams. He also told me that, although Gryffindor had managed to win the House cup, the two hundred points I'd earned had made the Slytherins proud. In his letter, he informed me that Draco was worried, but also that he would explain to both him and Willow where I had disappeared to.

Before he'd even left Hogwarts, Draco had sent piles of letters to me. He wanted to be certain that I was safe, and he was dying to find out what happened in the Chamber, as it was no secret that's where I had been.

I wrote back because my mother nearly begged me to, but I only gave brief, vague details on the subject I wanted to avoid talking about. And I refused to go and visit because of what had happened between Mr. Malfoy and I when I was leaving Hogwarts. The last thing I wanted was to see Lucius, so I had avoided his house and – by default – his son.

However, now that Draco and I had been reunited at last, he was bursting with questions. Unfortunately, we were surrounded by various Death Eaters, including our fathers, so I was actively avoiding the discussion of my latest failure. Besides, it still brought up painful feelings of both shame and betrayal.

Because I hadn't seen my best friend in so long, his appearance took me by surprise.

The commanding air inherited from Lucius was still there, but his outward look was completely different. He was much taller, and his hair was slicked more to the side than completely back. His facial features were harder and angular, giving him a more adult look to him. And on top of all of that, there was a glint of maturity in his eyes that was not there when last I'd seen him.

Even though he bombarded me with questions like a nosy child, he no longer struck me as the schoolboy I'd left behind at Hogwarts. I now saw him as a young man. Perhaps this was partially because of the humbling loss of his father's position as governor of Hogwarts.

As far as puberty went, I hit it hard as well.

My hair had darkened dramatically from its dirty blonde color to a dark and chocolaty brown. Instead of holding excitement and childlike awe at the world, my eyes held more wisdom…as well as brokenness and pain.

And then, of course, there were other additions to my body that weren't present before. For instance, my hips now slightly spanned outward, providing me with more feminine curves. My breasts, to the evident notice of Draco and several Death Eaters, had swelled to no less than a "C" cup.

I wondered if Mr. Malfoy would notice when he saw me.

Then I shook the idea from my head as my cheeks heated with embarrassment of my own thoughts. Lucius was my best friend's father – and my father's best friend! But apart from his relationship to me, he had given me a deep purple bruise that had just recently faded to yellow.

There was absolutely no reason for the intrusive thought that had violated my mind.

Besides, when I saw Draco standing across the drawing room only moments before, standing tall, I realized how big of a crush I really did have on him. Of course I suspected the feelings during the prior year, but I hadn't been sure. Most of the time, I was able to dismiss it as the childish misinterpretation of friendship or admiration. When he rushed through the throng of Death Eaters to sweep me into his arms and hug me as we were reunited, I could feel my heart flutter.

It was truly a shame we hadn't seen each other in so long.

After Lucius had slapped me in the corridors of Hogwarts, we'd barely exchanged words. He was still furious when he took me to the Ministry to get registered as an animagus, and that was the last time I'd seen him…assuming the dreams I'd been having about him didn't count. Because of my wild imagination and my endocrine-induced dreams, the meeting would be awkward enough, but I was also nervous that he would still be angry that I'd failed. He might even blame me for the loss of his house elf that Harry Potter craftily freed. I didn't want Lucius to turn into the abusive, formidable figure that my father was. However, I couldn't avoid him forever, especially not now that my mess of hormones could seemingly only be satisfied by thinking of him.

"Raven."

The voice had come from behind Draco and I, and as the unmistakable drawl pulsed through me, I tensed. I turned slowly to face the very man I'd both hoped and dreaded to see.

"Mr. Malfoy," I greeted in return.

The words tasted strange on my tongue. They were cold and metallic. Nothing quite so sweet and warm as 'Daddy.' But I couldn't call him that. Not now. Pain flashed through his eyes, but it vanished so fast that it could have been a mirage. I wondered if my addressing him sounded as terrible to him as it tasted to me.

"May I have a word?" he asked, shooting a warning glance at Draco as if daring him to accompany us.

I didn't need to answer. Lucius knew that I'd never be anything less than perfectly obedient to him. Reluctantly leaving Draco behind, I followed Lucius through the crowd of Death Eaters. Some friendly ones smiled while some creepier ones tried to catch a glimpse of my cleavage in my green summer dress. Overall, though, many death eaters, including my father, were too absorbed in conversation to even notice my absence.

"First thing's first," Lucius began, moving around his desk and sitting down once we'd reached his office, "Happy birthday."

He picked up a brand new quill from the desk in front of him and handed it to me. When my eyes landed on it, I momentarily forgot how to breathe. This was no ordinary quill. It was soft, long, and white. It didn't take much to figure out that it had come from his albino peacock.

"Thank you," I breathed in awe, my fear beginning to fade as I stroked the silky feather.

I could feel his eyes on me as I toyed with my new birthday present. He let me admire it for a long time before he felt the need to break the silence.

"That's not why I wanted to speak with you, though," he continued, "I wanted to talk to you about what happened at Hogwarts."

I tensed again and looked up from the feather, quickly forgetting it in my hand. But when I looked at Lucius, he seemed too calm to truly be a danger to me right now.

"I wanted to apologize," he told me suddenly.

I raised a cool eyebrow, but I felt like the world around me was imploding.

"I realize how contradictory I was being of myself by telling your father not to abuse you before smacking you around myself," he went on, "I don't want to be another man in your life that you have to fear. We should be working together to bring back the Dark Lord. Regardless of the choices you made last year, it isn't too late to redeem yourself. And I don't want you to be afraid of me."

Of all the terrible ways I'd imagined that this conversation would go, this came as a giant shock. I didn't know how to respond. What was I supposed to say to someone who was apologizing for slapping me? We hadn't spoken since then, and I had so many questions about what had changed within him that would make him want to apologize to me. And there were so many feelings and thoughts that I didn't know how to express, so I brought the focus of the conversation to something else: Draco.

"You aren't abusive like my father, but you bully Draco often. Why are you so gentle with me?" I asked before I could stop myself.

"Draco has much room to improve, and he won't unless I push him. Besides, I think your father has corrected you enough."

I looked at him for a few moments before nodding, pretending that I understood everything. Pretending that everything was okay. I didn't even know how to feel myself. Did I accept Lucius' apology? Did I forgive him? Was I still attracted to him? Yes, that was a definite. But I had no idea how I was supposed to feel about the smack.

"Alright," I muttered.

Before I realized what was happening, Lucius was standing and moving around the side of his mahogany desk. He grabbed my arms and pulled me into a hug. I froze. I thought I'd been shocked when Draco hugged me last year, but for Lucius, it was so out of character that the gesture that was meant for comfort was almost more unsettling.

Though I couldn't ignore the little sparks of pleasure that shot through my body as I returned the hug.

"Okay," he said, gently nudging me away and putting the desk between us as he glanced down at some paperwork, "Best get back to your party before you're missed. I'll be down in a bit."

I nodded and headed towards the door.

"Oh, and Raven?" his voice – suddenly low, like predatory growling – stopped me once I had a foot in the hallway. I glanced over my shoulder at him, "You're growing into a beautiful young woman."

Blushing hard, I rejoined the celebration.

* * *

Once the tension between Mr. Malfoy and I had been resolved, I spent a lot of additional time at Malfoy Manor. It was as if my goal was to make up for the time that I'd wasted. It was the morning after my actual birthday on July twenty-seventh when I woke up in my comfy guest bed at Malfoy Manor for the first time that summer.

I had slept over the night before, staying up too late to play with my new set of exploding wizard snaps with Draco. We'd only gone to sleep when Narcissa came upstairs to separate us, leaving us with the promise that we could play for the entirety of the next day.

When I woke up, I groggily made my way down the grand staircase made of polished marble. My black, satin pajama bottoms swished as I entered the dining room, my bare toes sinking into the plush rug. I took a seat next to Draco – who was eating a breakfast soufflé – and across from Lucius – who was scowling as he read the Daily Prophet.

"Unbelievable!" he snarled lowly, shaking his head. Draco and I look up at him as he continued disdainfully, setting down the paper and looking at us, "Sirius Black escaped from Azkaban last night. Azkaban is one of the highest security prisons in the wizarding world! They should be able to prevent something like this with ease! So many witches and wizards that are far more powerful than Black are still incarcerated."

"Isn't Aunt Bellatrix still in Azkaban?" Draco asked.

My eyes widened in interest, and I leaned forward slightly in my seat.

Ever since I was very young, the Ashes and the Malfoys alike told me stories of Bellatrix Lestrange. They described all of the daring and crazy deeds she'd do for the Dark Lord out of sheer loyalty. They would tell the stories like they were legends – with a mix of admiration, disbelief, and hilarity. It was as if both of the families didn't know whether to venerate Bellatrix, or to view her as the insane relative that was nearly laughable in her intensity. But nevertheless, they told me of her dramatic spell casting and spectacular fighting techniques until she was nothing less than a celebrity in my eyes. Despite her loyalty to the Dark Lord, she was my idol.

"Precisely my point!" Lucius snapped, "She's incredibly powerful. More powerful than Sirius Black. She should be able to escape easily if Azkaban's security was fairly distributed."

"Who is Sirius Black?" I asked both Draco and Lucius, trying to compare him to Bellatrix, "Is he dangerous?"

"You could take him, Raven," Draco joked in the voice that had been lowered by puberty.

"Draco," Lucius scolded harshly.

We fell into silence as Lucius looked back and forth between us. There was a warning glint in his eye, as if asking our questions was a poor idea. For a moment, I saw him as he truly was – just a father who worried about the safety of his son and best friend. He didn't want me trying to fight Black, as he knew that I would be inclined to do if I thought I had a chance. And if I thought that doing so would protect my friends.

Finally, his shoulders fell with a sigh.

"Don't associate with Black. Regardless of whether or not he'd hurt you, speaking of or to him will undoubtedly make us all look bad. Just keep your heads down."


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two**

I was sitting in my bedroom at Ashe manor when Fatigo came gliding through my open window. Since he'd delivered nothing but letters from Draco and Willow all summer, I was surprised to see him with a Hogwarts letter trapped in his beak. When I eagerly, yet nervously, broke open the envelope, I saw that it was a permission form for Hogsmede trips. This would be the first year I'd be allowed to partake.

Immediately, I skipped downstairs to find Mother. She and I had been talking excitedly about Hogsmede for the past month. I knew she'd sign the paper happily. Unfortunately, before I could find her, I ran into Father.

"What do you have there?" he asked, gesturing at the form that waved in my trembling grasp.

"Permission form to Hogsmeade," I muttered nervously, "Will you sign it?"

"Why?" he snarled, "So you can go to Honeyduke's and get even fatter?"

I looked at my feet as my cheeks heated in humiliation. Ever since my body begun to change, Father explained it by saying I'd been gaining weight. Draco told me that it was because he just didn't want me to grown up…but I knew better. Father just saw it as another excuse to torment me.

"No," I replied, taking a deep breath and forcing my voice to stay calm and confident, "So I can spend some time with Draco outside of school."

He watched me for a few seconds, and I forced myself to stare back. My eyes were begging to look away, but I continued staring. I'd played a card he couldn't refuse. I was well aware that the Ashes and Malfoys wanted Draco and I to marry when we were old enough. It would be a perfect way to ensure our families were brought even closer, and more importantly, that our massive funds were combined.

"Can you sign it?" I asked again before my mouth could agree with my mind.

I even accidentally thrust the paper closer to him.

He sneered down at it, and I expected him to say no. To make fun of me further. To take the piece of parchment and tear it up. To shove past me without saying anything more. I _didn't_ expect him to pull his enchanted eagle feather quill out of his suit jacket.

Still sneering, he snatched the form out of my hand and scrawled his name on the blank line. I reached out my hand to take it back, but instead, he dropped it to the ground at his feet. Then he retreated down the hall like the encounter had never happened.

* * *

"You know what people are saying about Sirius Black?" Draco asked, and he answered without waiting for a response, "They're saying he's the Dark Lord's right hand."

I almost had to stop myself from laughing out loud.

I didn't know much about Sirius Black, but I was certain that he was not the right hand.

We were collecting our new school supplies at Diagon Alley when he'd brought it up. While shopping at Flourish and Blotts for new books, Mr. Malfoy had gone to the apothecary to buy our potions supplies for the year. Now, Draco and I searched for our third year books alone.

In addition to Defense Against the Dark Arts, Charms, Transfiguration, History of Magic, and Potions, third years were allowed to take Divination and Care of Magical Creatures. I was excited for Divination, but the COMC book was the most fun to collect. It was entitled "The Monster Book of Monsters" and was alive and dangerous, and when the book salesman went to grab two copies for me and Draco, one bit his arm.

We'd been enjoying ourselves when Draco brought up Black again like it was juicy gossip instead of a terrifying event. Especially terrifying since Mr. Malfoy refused to tell us anything more about Black. Regardless, I could tell that Draco was scared. He was generally pretty bad at hiding his fear.

"Do you think it's true?" he continued, "About Black being with the Dark Lord."

"Not really," I commented absently.

The death eaters would have mentioned him if he was that important. If I wasn't destined to be the Dark Lord's second, Bellatrix Lestrange surely was.

"Why not?"

"He'd be more famous if he was, don't you think?" I replied.

"I guess," he commented, "They're making a big deal about this, though. It was even on the muggle news."

"That's because," Lucius' voice came from behind us, making us freeze, "no one's ever escaped from Azkaban before. The Ministry is mistaking a technical prison error for an incredible amount of power."

He took a step forward, and I felt his heavy hand come to rest on my shoulder. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw that his other hand fell on Draco's. He squeezed gently.

"As for Black, I already told you not to speak about him."

"That's difficult to do when you refuse to say anything about him," I shot back, glancing up and over my shoulder so that I was looking at him. At first, he snarled, but then a smirk slowly spread over his face.

"I suppose that's fair. All I'll tell you is that he is not affiliated with the Dark Lord. So you can now stop your absurd guessing game. And I'd advise both of you to feign total ignorance throughout this entire situation. It's best not to get involved."

I glanced and Draco, and it was clear that he was about as satisfied with this answer as I was – which is to say, not at all.

* * *

"Anything off the trolley, dears?" the witch on the Hogwarts Express asked when she made it to our compartment.

"A cauldron cake and two pumpkin pasties," Draco replied, ordering for both of us even though he hadn't asked what I wanted.

He hadn't needed to.

He knew what I liked.

The witch handed us our items as Crabbe and Goyle began their long order. Pansy sat across the compartment from Draco. She didn't even look up at the witch. For the most part, she sat silently, staring out the window, but every once and a while, I would catch her sneaking a furtive glance at Draco. And without fail, her cheeks heated if he were to look back at her.

A burning of envy flowed through me like thick, boiling water running through my veins.

"I'm bored," Draco complained as we finished our pastries, "Get up and walk around with me?"

I had been perfectly entertained previewing my transfiguration text book for the year, particularly the section on animagi, but I was still quick to accept Draco's offer to stretch my legs. Leaving Crabbe, Goyle, and Pansy behind, we left the compartment and walked out into aisle train.

"Have you seen Willow?" I asked as I glanced into the compartments we passed.

"No," he scoffed.

After the Chamber incident, he was able to deduce that she was muggle born, which hurt his already shaky relationship with her. But had a suspicion that his newfound dislike had to do with something a little more serious than her blood purity.

Draco understood that the main reason I'd even been in the Chamber was to protect her. And he also understood that I'd almost died to ensure her safety. He could have lost me, and in his eyes, Willow would have been responsible.

The three of us hadn't been together since the Chamber, but I wasn't looking forward to the thick and predictable tension when Draco and Willow saw each other again. And while I continued looking for Willow in the compartments we passed, I didn't bring her up again to Draco.

So we walked in a comfortable silence until we stumbled upon Harry's compartment. Sitting with him was Weasley, Hermione, and another man I didn't recognize. The only thing that was quite clear was that he was no student. This was odd. I'd never seen a teacher riding the Hogwarts express before. Usually they found other means of getting to Hogwarts.

Draco quickly detoured into their compartment, and I found myself offering a warm smile to Harry and Hermione. I found that I didn't really care what Draco thought of my friendships with them anymore. I enjoyed their company, and we shared a mutual trust. I wouldn't forsake them, just as I knew Draco wouldn't forsake me.

The trio looked slightly older as well. Hermione's body had changed similarly to how mine had, and her hair looked shorter and thinner. She looked pretty. Harry and Ron didn't look too different, but it was clear that they'd given up their childish looks for something a little more mature.

"Well, well. Look who it is," Draco sneered nastily, "Potty and Weasel. I heard your father got his hands on some gold this summer, Weasley. Did your mother die of shock?"

I wasn't an avid reader of the daily prophet, but I knew exactly what Draco was talking about. I received my news from Draco, Lucius, my mother, or occasionally my father. However, it wasn't from Draco that I'd heard this information. It was from Lucius as he muttered about it over tea one afternoon.

But as soon as the words left Draco's mouth, Harry and Weasley were on their feet. I stepped between them, my back to Draco, but effortlessly, he wrapped an arm around my waist and swung me out of the way. I just barely stopped myself from crashing into the side of the doorway as Draco took a threatening step towards the trio.

But then, he noticed the middle-aged man sleeping in the corner.

"Who's that?" he asked.

"New Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher," Hermione answered.

She was still sitting down, a book opened in her lap.

"So I wouldn't do anything, if I were you," she added, looking back down at the book.

Draco paused, glaring at Harry and Weasley. Then he pivoted and shoved me into the hallway. He followed as I stumbled over my feet, and he slid the door shut after him.

"C'mon," he snarled, continuing back to our own compartment. He walked with purpose, but I refused to move.

"You know, you could be gentler with me. I don't appreciate being tossed around."

He paused, looking over his shoulder at me.

"You're right, Raven. I'm sorry. Now, come on."

I scowled, but if an argument was to be had, I didn't want to have it while we were still standing in front of the trio's compartment. Though I wasn't looking, I could feel their eyes on me, burning through the glass window. So I followed Draco.

We took our time, slowly walking through the dim hallway. We remained in silence until the tension between us seemed to dissipate. I had too big of a crush on Draco to stay mad at him for long. Besides, years of friendship seemed to remove the word 'grudge' from our vocabulary.

Because it was late, the train could no longer be lit by natural light coming through the windows. The corridor was now only lit by the soft glow of lanterns, and our small talk – when it started once more – was accompanied by the gentle patter of rain against the windows.

As we passed by a window, there was a group of Ravenclaw students sitting in silence. Out of the six that were in the compartment, four had books open in their laps. One had a stack of closed books in her lap. And one was holding an open journal and a pen.

He was also the only one who wasn't looking out the window or reading.

When I glanced up his body towards his face, I saw that he was staring right back at me.

Our eyes met, and there was a moment of familiarity that passed between us. I knew I'd seen him before, but I couldn't remember from where. And I knew I felt this feeling before of something stirring deep within me. It was something that felt a little bit like dread, but also like longing.

I was torn between wanting to run down the hallway and wanting to run into his cabin.

Neither happened. I just continued walking with Draco at our leisurely pace until the boy with slicked, black hair disappeared from my sight.

"Raven," Draco muttered, slowing to a stop a few compartments away from our own, "I've been wanting to talk to you about something."

"Yes?" I prompted, trying not to get my hopes up, but I was still breathless from making eye contact with the boy. The writer.

Besides, I didn't want to assume Draco was planning on asking me to be his girlfriend. I'd learned quickly that jumping to conclusions almost always led to disappointment.

"Well, we've been friends for a really long time, but-."

He stopped when the lights suddenly flickered out.

I could no longer see anything, but I could feel. Draco's hands were suddenly holding mine and his breath gently tickled strands of my hair. However, apart from those two sensations, it was like I wasn't even on the train anymore. I was standing in the middle of infinity.

Or like I had been submerged in one of those muggle contraptions.

A sensory deprivation tank?

Muggles were into strange things, but I supposed that was because they couldn't create their own magic.

I felt Draco pull me along, towards our compartment. I heard the door slide open before I was yanked through. Then it was slid shut again.

"What's going on?" I asked Draco as he gently sat me next to him.

"I don't know," he replied.

"No one does," Pansy added.

My eyes began to adjust to the little moonlight coming through the window, but before that, the only indication that it was truly our compartment was Crabbe and Goyle's heavy breathing and Pansy's voice.

Seconds later, I heard the door slide open again. Squinting, I could barely make out the silhouette of a person entering. They had long hair and were dressed in Hogwarts robes. As they came closer, I shrunk against Draco nervously before I noticed the Slytherin crest on the breast of their cloak.

"Willow?" I hissed.

"Raven!" she whimpered back in relief.

Instead of verbally replying, I reached for her. Careful not to startle her, I gently grabbed her hand and tugged her over to me.

"What's happening?" she asked, sitting down beside me.

"No one knows," I answered.

Then my eyes were drawn to the hallway, through the glass door. What looked like a floating, black cloak was drifting down through the train. I couldn't see in great detail, but it looked like a child on Halloween dressed as a ghost in a black sheet.

It passed our door, but that did nothing to calm anyone down. The arm Draco had around my shoulders tightened, and his other hand came up to the back of my head and pushed it into his chest. Willow, on my other side, was hanging onto my arm like it was the only thing keeping her from sinking into the seat.

After a while, it was apparent that the thing wouldn't be coming back, but that didn't keep all twelve of our wide eyes from staring back at the door in case it returned.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter Three**

Once the Hogwarts Express had reached the school, Draco and I trudged through down the path, muddy from the heavy rains that we'd only barely missed. We piled into a carriage with Crabbe, Goyle, Pansy, and Willow. There was no tension between Pansy and Willow. She talked to her easily and openly, and for that, I was grateful. But no one else would even look in Willow's direction.

"Well, it sort of just floated into our compartment," Neville Longbottom was explaining loudly from the carriage directly in front of us, "It was kind of just looking around, and then Harry fainted!"

My eyes widened in horror. Harry Potter was strong enough to fight the Dark Lord and a giant basilisk, but he fainted at the sight of…whatever that _thing_ was. More horrifying than that, though, was the fact that it had gone into a student compartment. It was something we'd all been afraid of, but it could have ventured anywhere on the train. Why was it Harry's compartment when it could have been ours?

"Famous Harry Potter," he chuckled to me, drawing me out of my thoughts, "fainting from the mere presence of it. Must have scared him too much. You'd be able to handle it, Raven. You'd have killed that thing if it wandered into our compartment."

I looked down at my feet, blushing. Just because I'd shown bravery in the past didn't mean I was worthy of Draco's excessive praise. Nor did I appreciate it because I knew that he only said these things because he would feed off of my fame if he couldn't undermine Harry's.

As the carriages came to a stop, Draco hopped out and dragged me by the hand over to the trio. Willow and Pansy walked with us while Crabbe and Goyle trailed silently a few feet behind.

"You fainted, Potter?" he taunted, "Is Longbottom telling the truth? You actually fainted?"

I stood silently as Weasley replied.

"Shove off, Malfoy," he spat.

"Did you faint as well, Weasley?" Draco continued.

I sighed loudly, hoping Draco would pick up the hint.

His bullying had been decreasing slightly since our first year, but I was still disappointed and exasperated that we still had to deal with moments such as this.

"Is there a problem?" a familiar man asked, hurrying over.

Draco and I both studied him.

He had been the one sleeping in the trio's train compartment. His clothing was dirty and tattered, and his hair was unkempt. On the suitcase he was carrying, it said his name: R. J. Lupin.

Earlier, I'd silently assumed he was our new DADA professor. Who else could he be after Lockhart had been fired? Apart from losing his memory, it was discovered that Lockhart was a fraud and that all of the great feats written about in his many books were done by other wizards.

Draco scoffed but said nothing aloud at Lupin's abysmal appearance before pulling me into the castle by my wrist.

"What was that thing on the train anyway?" asked Willow as we made our way to the Great Hall.

"Umm…I'm not sure," I replied, turning to Draco with a questioning look.

"You don't know what a dementor is?" he snapped, giving Willow and I a nasty look.

"I do," I shot back, "Is that what it was? It's not like I've ever seen one before."

"What's a dementor?" Willow questioned.

Draco sighed dramatically and rolled his eyes, but I began to answer her question.

"It's one of the guards from the wizard prison, Azkaban," I explained.

"Why are they here?"

"I'm not really sure."

"Because Sirius Black broke out," Draco snarled, "and he could be anywhere."

"Oh…who's Sirius Black?"

"Christ, you really don't know much of anything, do you?" Draco suddenly exploded, stopping midstride and whirling to face Willow, "Sirius Black is a murderer who killed thirteen people with one curse. He's been all over the news! Don't you read the Daily Prophet? No, of course you don't because you're a stupid mudblood! Do you even know what the Daily Prophet is? No, I thought not. But you can't even look on your own stupid muggle TV and see that the stupid muggle colony you live in is broadcasting Sirius Black's escape too? Pathetic!"

Once he was finished, Willow stared at him in shock.

For a moment, she looked as if he had slapped her. Her eyes were wide and her mouth ajar. But then her face seem to crumble into disappointment. Her eyes filled with tears, and she turned and ran towards the school. As soon as she had disappeared in the shadows surrounding the castle, I turned back to Draco.

"What the hell was that?" I snarled.

"She's so annoying!"

"You complained about her being too quiet before you found out she was muggle-born," I argued, "And she has every right to know what's going on!"

"You should have never become friends with her."

I narrowed my eyes.

"You know what? _You're_ the pathetic one. Maybe I should have never become friends with _you_."

For a moment, Draco's face looked like Willow's had. His eyes were wide and his mouth was slightly agape, but I didn't feel any guilt over what I'd said. Ignoring his look of hurt, I trotted after Willow.

* * *

At first, I had no idea where she could have gone.

No one knew the password to the Slytherin common room except for the prefects, so she couldn't have gotten in. I knew that she wouldn't be outside of the castle, and many of the rooms were locked.

I didn't know what possessed me to look for her in Moaning Myrtle's bathroom, but that was where I headed. It felt like that was where I needed to go. As I walked down the hallway, I listened for any sound that might alert me to Willow's presence. A sniffle, a sob, or even the rustling of her robes.

There wasn't a whisper until I rounded the corner to the bathroom.

Willow laid on the ground about a foot from the door, shivering. There was a layer of sweat coating her skin, but she looked cold, like she had a fever. Other than her trembling, she appeared to be unconscious.

A dementor stood above her, the tattered hem of its cloak licking her cheek. Without thinking, I whipped out my wand and pointed it at the creature. I wasn't sure what to do, but I obviously couldn't leave her there.

"Get away from her!" I yelled, moving with purposeful strides down the hallway.

The cold holes that were the dementor's eyes turned to me, immediately filling me with a sense of both hopelessness and dread. They chilled me, and it was hard to find the motivation to even keep my wand pointed at the creature.

It came closer, leaving Willow behind. I vaguely realized that this was what I wanted.

The figure stopped directly in front of me, and even though I was terrified, I forced myself to stay where I was. That, and I was rooted to the spot by the lethargy of the momentary depression.

Regardless, I would not leave Willow.

It stared at me for a few moments, but I couldn't feel anything other than fear and emptiness. It felt like I was frozen, but I didn't feel it sucking my soul, as many people claimed to. My happiness was gone, but my energy and power were still intact.

I tilted my chin up defiantly at the dementor, but it felt like I was moving through molasses. I waited to feel my soul being taken from my body, but the strange sensation I had heard about never came. There was only the feeling of sadness.

After a while, the creature seemed to give up. It floated away from me, retreating down the hallway. I watched after it for a moment just to make sure it wasn't coming back, but once I was certain it was gone, I rushed over to Willow, the sense of heavy emptiness and dread suddenly gone.

"Hey," I began urgently, lightly shaking her, "Wake up! Please wake up, Willow. Come on!"

Just to confirm that she was still alive, I held my hand in front of her mouth and nose, feeling the soft, warm breath hit my skin. A wave of relief hit me when I did. Then I sighed, thinking of what to do. I couldn't just leave Willow in the hallway, but she was too heavy for me to lift manually.

I didn't understand why she'd come to Moaning Myrtle's bathroom in the first place. Her experience in the Chamber of Secrets had surely traumatized her enough to make her stay away from this entire wing. If I were her, I wouldn't want anything to remind me of those terrifying memories. I would have thought that she'd be staying far away from this place.

Stowing my wand in the waist band of my Hogwarts skirt, I tried in vain to pick up Willow. As I suspected, I wasn't able to lift her. Even though she was smaller and lighter than me, I wasn't physically strong. I was only able to drag her a few feet down the hallway before I had to set her down, panting and out of breath.

Finally, I put her back on the ground and drew my wand, vaguely remembering a spell that my mother had once used to move a large, heavy cabinet into her potion lab. I didn't remember it very well, and I'd never been officially taught it. But I had no other choice; I had to at least try it.

" _Locomotor,_ " I whispered uncertainly – so as not to draw the attention of Filch, Mrs. Norris, or another dementor.

At first, nothing happened, but then she rose a few inches into the air so that only her robe brushed against the floor. She floated down the hallway in the direction that I dictated.

On the way, we thankfully didn't encounter any more dementors. I was also relieved that we didn't run into any teachers, which would have probably resulted in more trouble. By the time she started to stir, we were almost to the common room. I had no idea where else to take her, but soon enough, a prefect would come along and see us. I'd be able to come up with some lie that they would believe.

At first, I didn't realize that Willow was waking up; her movements were so subtle and her noises so quiet. But it didn't take a long time before the slight whimpers and heavy breathing turned into full screams.

"No!" she shrieked, flailing in her robes. Slowly, I lowered her to the ground, but she had become nearly feral, "Let me go! I don't want this! It's not my fault! Let me go!"

She scrambled to her hands and her knees, backing away from me into the corner of the dungeons.

"Hey!" I snapped, kneeling in front of her as she squirmed in a pile of fabric. Her wild eyes locked on mine, but it didn't seem to make her lucid. If anything, it took away her fight but created a desperation.

"Don't let him kill me," she pleaded, reaching out for my forearm, "Save me."

"Willow," I spoke gently and slowly, trying not to show any sign of panic, "We're not in the Chamber any more. Look around."

She paused for a moment, looking. She still trembled and grasped at her hair, but it seemed as though my words were pushing through very thick molasses. Slowly they made their way to her head, and her eyebrows furrowed as she grew silent.

"I'm sorry," she muttered finally, looking around at the dark dungeons, but then she grew confused, "Wait, where am I? I remember walking through the hallways…upstairs. Why am I down here?"

"We're almost to the common room. Come on, we can sit there and wait for a prefect," I encouraged, helping her to her feet, "I'll tell you everything on the way."

For someone who was just unconscious, she walked down the halls surprisingly fast, although I noticed her shaking along with a glossy look in her eyes. As we reached the entrance to our common room, I was pleasantly surprised to find one of the prefects had arrived with a group of students just moments before we had, so we were able to blend in with them as they entered.

When we finally reached our dormitory, Willow collapsed onto her bed, panting heavily.

"I'm sorry," I began, sitting on the edge of my own bed, "-about Draco. You were right last year. He's not very accepting; not as accepting as I really hoped he would be when he found out. I thought it would be different since I made it clear that I care about you. I thought he would understand that you're my friend too, but you should just ignore his stupid comments. I know how great you are, so you don't need to worry about what Draco thinks."

"Thank you," she said weakly, "but what happened after that? After I ran into the – what are they called again? – dementors?"

"I found you lying in the hallway with a dementor standing over you. It came at me, but it just drifted away. It didn't steal my soul or anything like that."

"So you didn't pass out?"

"No."

"Hmm…I wonder what happened."

"I don't know, but I found you near Moaning Myrtle's bathroom. Why were you headed there anyway?"

"I don't know," she explained, shrugging and letting her eyes drop to the ground, "It's just where my feet took me. I guess I don't see it as the place where a bunch of terrible things happened. Instead, it reminds me how much you'd do to protect me. It reminds me how much I'm cared about here at Hogwarts, especially when I feel like no one cares about me."

Then her cheeks grew red.

"I'm sorry for freaking out on the way down here," she continued, "Over the summer, I did that sometimes. I'd wake up from having a nightmare, and I would be crying or sweating. My parents say that I sometimes scream in my sleep or have night terrors. I'm really sorry you had to see that, but I guess it's good that you're prepared if it happens here."

"Post-traumatic Stress Disorder isn't uncommon for people who've gone through something like this. You almost died last year – and you almost watched me die – because of a giant snake and a terrible hologram of a wizard who's supposed to be dead. And before that, you didn't even know this kind of stuff existed. No one expected you to be unaffected after all of that. In fact, I'd think there was something wrong with you if you were."

"But you are. You don't have nightmares, and last year was the second time you've faced the Dark Lord."

"I do have nightmares. Just not night terrors, and I'm not really that jumpy. But maybe that's because there _is_ something wrong with me."

She remained silent for a few moments, digesting this possibility. I knew she thought that I had no weakness, but maybe that fact in itself was my biggest weakness at all. She was right, my experiences with my family, the Death Eaters, and the Dark Lord should have had me very messed up, but I wasn't. Why wasn't I?

I sat on her bed next to Willow and pulled her into a hug.

"Everyone is just happy you survived…along with Harry and me," I continued, "You're a fighter. You're strong. Slytherin is lucky to have you, but you…you should have been in Gryffindor."

When I started singing, I didn't plan it. I didn't think about what song to sing or if I even wanted to. I didn't think about the fact that I hadn't had anything to drink since the train. I didn't think about anything. I just opened my mouth and began singing a song that I didn't even realize I knew.

* * *

 _Well, before I got to fighting, or when fighting got to me,_

 _I looked to find examples on the field of chivalry._

 _I saw mighty arms much stronger than my arms would ever be,_

 _And I thought perhaps the field was not for me._

* * *

 _But I stayed and watched the fighting 'til one figure stood apart_

 _With armor newly fashioned and a helm more pot than art._

 _But each blow was thrown with honor and a lightness of the heart._

 _So I took that step that soon became a start._

* * *

 _'_ _Cause she was not the biggest fighter, nor one to raise a fuss._

 _But I remember being proud that she was one of us._

 _And we may never stand together in the shield while side by side,_

 _But because of her, I lift my sword with pride._

* * *

"That's beautiful," Willow sniffled, wiping tears away from her eyes.

"Thank you. I think my mother must have sang it to me when I was a child. I don't really remember."

"Well, I really like it. It makes me feel…included and safe."

"Good. Because that's exactly what you are when you're with me."

* * *

 **Hey everyone! I know I never do author notes at the end of the chapters, but I wanted to leave the link to the song above. It's called "One of Us" and it's by Canadian Celtic singer Heather Dale. It's one of my favorite songs, an every time I hear it, I think of my friend who Willow is based off of. That's why I chose to include this song, and I want all of you to be able to enjoy it as well. You can find it here:** "YouTube"."com" (slash) watch?v=13dsYEOi5TY


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter Four**

"Raven, I'm sorry!" called Draco, chasing me up one of the changing staircases.

I tried to continue my trek to Charms, but it was difficult to ignore him, especially in one of the most populated areas of the school. Though I wasn't making a spectacle of myself as Draco was, people still gave me sideways glances, and I knew some of them would be very eager to know why I wouldn't talk to him. When I made it up to one of the landings, I whirled around but he was already gripping my forearm and pushing me to the wall.

"Hey!" I snapped as quietly as I could, but I had made him mad by pretending I couldn't hear him since we'd left the dungeons.

"Listen to me," he hissed, "I'm trying to apologize, and that's not something that's easy for me to do."

"I'm not the one you need to apologize to," I snarled, "Now, let me go."

"Not until you forgive me," he growled, his grip on my arm tightening.

I raised my eyebrows, and we stared at each other for a long, tense moment, each daring the other to back down. His eyes bore into mine, but I hadn't done anything wrong, so I found it easy to not look away. Finally, his face softened and his grip on my arm loosened.

"I…I just don't like it when you're mad at me," he sighed, his eyes dropping to my feet.

"And I don't like being mad at you."

"Then forgive me."

"Not until Willow forgives you, and she can't do that unless you apologize to her. And next time, think about what you say before you say it."

Before he could respond, I broke free of his hold and stormed off down the hallway.

* * *

It was later that day when the Slytherins had their first Divination lesson.

I had been immensely looking forward to it because anything related to the 'third eye' intrigued me. Besides, I'd been told that I had an aptitude for analyzing dreams – or receiving messages through my dreams. It was mostly smaller things, but it was still there. For instance, when I was a child, I always enjoyed exploring Ashe Manor. One night I dreamt of a secret passage that lead from one area of the house to another. When I woke up, I went to investigate and the secret passage was real.

There were other things such as dream symbols that I could interpret without really thinking about it. So much so, in fact, that my mother and her friends often ask me for my input on their dreams.

It was things like this that made me believe I would thrive in Divination, even though I'd never given any thought to studying it further as a career.

I knew that Draco would be in Divination lesson, but I made it a point to walk alone, something that didn't go unnoticed by my peers. However, in doing so, I was the first to arrive in the classroom.

As soon as I looked at Professor Trelawney, I noticed a brownish, muddy light surrounding her head. It was almost like a haze, and I could notice it better out of my peripheral vision. I had no clue what it was, but I avoided staring out of courtesy.

"Bright, royal blue auras are often a sign of clairvoyance. What you're seeing is my aura," she explained, and I didn't have the heart to tell her that her aura was not the royal blue she believed it to be, "If you're interested, yours is scarlet. That type of aura indicates confidence and creativity. But why wouldn't you be confident when you're the most respected girl in school? And I must say, you're one of my first students to be able to see auras immediately."

"I didn't know I was able to," I defended, "I never have before. Yours is just so pronounced I guess."

"As is yours, dear, but I would advise you to start paying attention to the auras of people you interact with regularly. Now that you know you can see them, perhaps it will become easier to recognize them. Auras can also change colors. Paying attention to them may give you insights to certain people."

"Raven, you're already here?"

I spun around to face Draco as he swaggered into the room with Crabbe and Goyle trailing after him. I wanted to be the bigger person and respond, but I couldn't bring myself to say the words. Instead, I found a seat near the corner of my room. Unfortunately, Draco followed and took the chair across the table from me.

"What the hell, Raven?" his voice dropped to an angry whisper as the other two boys sat at a table near us, "Talk to me! I told you I was sorry. What else can I do? I just want things to be the same between us."

"Look," I began lowly, "I don't like this anymore than you do. I miss you! But you need to learn that saying those kind of things to people, especially fellow House members, come with consequences. Have you apologized to Willow yet?"

"No," he huffed.

"Once you apologize, then things can go back to normal."

"Are you still mad at me?"

"I am irritated that you won't apologize to her, but I'm not angry like I was."

His shoulders relaxed as other students began to filter into the room.

Because Willow was only a second year, she wouldn't be taking this class yet, but all of my other friends from Slytherin had been placed in my section.

Pansy nearly arrived late and had to sit with Millicent Bulstrode – the only student who didn't have a partner. Draco didn't move from his chair, but I decided that I was secretly glad. It felt like we were back to normal, even though I knew we weren't.

I missed him. The distance that had been created between us hurt badly. I missed his hugs, his smiles, and even – _especially –_ the way he would drag me around by my sleeve. I wanted our relationship to be back where it had been, but I needed to be strong.

I needed to defend Willow.

Professor Trelawney began speaking about what we'd be learning over the course of the year once everyone had found their seats. I heard all of it, but I felt as though all of it was lost. It wasn't because I wasn't paying attention. It was because every idea, just the idea, created a spark of excitement. I was so caught in each word that I didn't retain any of the actual message.

When the speech was over, she told us to each grab a tea cup and attempt a basic tea reading with a partner. Draco and I went to the shelf to grab our cups along with our classmates. He grabbed a deep blue one while I took a white one with a blue belle accent around the gilded rim.

As we walked over to the professor so she could fill our cups, I turned mine over a few times in my hand admiring its beauty. I was so interested in the little cup, that I didn't notice Pansy standing right in front of me.

I bumped into her, and my tea cup fell to the ground. If it had fallen two inches to the left, it would have hit the stone floor and completely shattered. However, it fell on the rug instead and only chipped slightly on the rim.

Pansy stooped to pick it up.

"Thank you," I said as she handed it to me, but then I saw Trelawney watching us, her expression unreadable. "I'm sorry."

A warm smile spread over her face as she gently took the cup out of my hands.

"It's just a cup, dear," she replied, filling it with the steaming liquid with her other hand.

I took it back from her, the cup now heated by the tea within, and returned to my seat.

Draco and I sat silently across from each other, sipping our tea without making eye contact. Then I felt his knee brush mine from underneath the table. At first, I thought it was an accident – an easy one to make – but he didn't move his knee from mine. Our legs rested against each other's. He clearly just wanted some reaction, some acknowledgement, but, as much as it hurt, I wouldn't give him any.

When we were done drinking, we swirled the remaining leaves around a few times, as instructed. Then we swapped cups and began reading. I rotated Draco's around, looking at each new image I could see and marking them in the book.

A dustpan.

A lion.

A clasped necklace.

Unbalanced scales.

A wasp.

"Are you ready?" he asked me.

"Yes," I responded, picking up my book. I took some time to flip through it, searching for the first item, "Well, the dustpan means strange news about a friend. There's a lion here that means an influential friend. If you look this way, there's a complete necklace, which means admirers."

I said the last one quickly, hoping I didn't blush. I knew the admirer I just predicted was me.

"This unbalanced scale here means injustice. It's supposed to be predicative of a law suit, I think. And if you turn the cup this way, you can sort of make out a wasp. That means trouble in love."

"Interesting," he commented, "We have the necklace and the wasp in common. You also have an egg yolk, which means being dominated."

"Of course. I've always been oppressed by my father."

"But you've also got a tree, which means changes for the better. A pistol means danger. And a camel, and that means useful news."

"I'm not really sure what to make of all that."

Draco laughed, "Well, at least you haven't got a lawsuit in your future."

"I don't know," I replied, smirking, "If you're involved, it's probably in my future as well."

We went on like that for a while, talking about what lay in store for us in the future.

As we talked, I tried to see Draco's aura. It took me a few moments, but then I could sense it more than see it. If I focused too hard with my eyes, it went away. It was just so faint around the edges of his body, but once I found it, it was unmistakable.

A murky green.


	5. Chapter 5

**Hey everyone! This chapter is pretty long. On Microsoft Word, it's about ten pages, which is I think the longest chapter I've ever posted. I hope you don't mind! The next update will likely be in a week or two so there's plenty of time to read this chapter! I hope you enjoy.**

 **Chapter Five**

After Divination, both Draco and I had Transfiguration, so it didn't make sense to walk without him. However, the trek to class was uncomfortably silent. Nevertheless, I was caught up in the excitement of the class I'd been anticipating for over a year.

I'd finally get to formally learn about animagi, which was a subject that had caught my interest ever since I found out that I could turn into a fox. I couldn't even imagine what new things I would learn about my already-existing ability.

About halfway to the classroom, Draco and I ran into Willow.

"Hey!" I greeted.

She gave me a small, forced smile before eying Draco warily. Following her gaze, I gave him a look.

Now was his chance. Why wouldn't he take it?

Instead, he stared at her for a few moments with his fists clenched. I could see his tongue move around inside his mouth in thought. It would occasionally push out his cheek, but he never made a move to say anything. I clenched my jaw.

Why couldn't he just apologize to her so that I could forgive him? Why was he so stubborn?

Finally, all the fight seemed to leave his body. His fists unclenched and his shoulders slumped sadly. He let out a sigh and pushed past Willow, disappearing down the hall.

Willow rolled her eyes.

"I'm sorry," I tried to explain, "It isn't easy for him."

"Why should he apologize? I knew he'd feel this way once he found out about what I am."

"You're one of us," I argued, "It doesn't matter what your blood status is. You're a Slytherin and my friend. That's all that should matter to him.

"You can't expect that of him. He's grown up looking at people like me with disgust and pity."

"Draco's family and past does not excuse the things he said to you."

"No…I guess not. But still, I don't want him to apologize unless he means it."

"I know," I told her, "I've got to get to class now, but I'll talk to you later."

She nodded and gave me another small smile. This one wasn't forced.

When I entered the Transfiguration classroom, I sat next to Draco. He looked at me, disappointed it seemed. I opened my mouth to speak, but he cut me off.

"I can't do it," he admitted, shaking his head and looking down at his hands in his lap.

I sighed.

"You shouldn't apologize until you mean it. I shouldn't have tried to force you. If you aren't truly sorry, what I'm doing is stupid, and I should have seen that sooner. I just wish that you could see that she's one of us. It doesn't matter that she's muggle-born. There's obviously a reason that she's one of the first muggle-borns ever to be in Slytherin. She deserves more respect than you showed her."

Draco blushed and gave me a quick nod, still not looking up from his lap.

"Just…please try to think about what you're saying before you say it next time."

"I'll try," he agreed, nodding, "So, are we good?"

"Yes, we're good."

Finally, he looked up at me and gave me a smile. I couldn't help but feel, when he smiled like this, that I was seeing a side to Draco that no one else had ever gotten to see.

"Good because there is something I've been wanting to ask you, and I've been thinking about it for a while now."

"What is it?"

"Well, I-."

"Welcome, class," Professor McGonagall interrupted, strutting into the classroom, "Everyone is here for Third Year Transfiguration, yes?"

The class gave her a collective nod as Draco sighed and leaned back in his seat. I also shifted, annoyed at her timing. I hoped I knew what Draco wanted to say to me, but I couldn't be sure that he felt the same way that I did.

"Very good. We will begin this term by studying animagi. These are wizards or witches who can transform themselves into an animal."

As if to illustrate her point, she shrunk down into a cat. The class, who knew better than to talk during transfiguration lessons, stared in silent awe. When she grew back into her usual figure, my fellow Slytherins gave her a polite applause.

But then she looked around the room.

"This summer," she began, "one of your classmates was registered at the Ministry as an animagus."

I tensed and blushed slightly as I felt the students' eyes on me. I didn't know that McGonagall knew I could turn into a fox, but everyone in Slytherin did.

"Ravenfire, would you mind showing us?"

I took a deep breath and stood up.

I knew I shouldn't be nervous; I should be proud. I was friends with nearly everyone in the room, but it still felt awkward to transform in front of anyone besides my mother or Mr. Malfoy. Slowly, I shrunk down and sprouted my ears and tail.

When I was my full-fox, I looked up at McGonagall's beaming face.

"Incredible. I'm impressed, Ravenfire. That transformation was very smooth and natural," McGonagall praised as I transformed back into a human and returned to my seat, "It's very rare that a witch your age could manage to become an animagus. I imagine you've looked forward to this class?"

I nodded enthusiastically.

"Well, then, let's get started with the basics."

* * *

Later the same day, after lunch, we had our first Care of Magical Creatures lesson with the Gryffindors. I thought Draco would have been annoyed at the other House, but he oddly wasn't. If anything, it seemed like he would have more fun ridiculing Hagrid in front of them.

While we waited for Hagrid to step out of his hut and begin our lesson, I stood beside Draco. I stared at the thick, healthy grass surrounding my leather, buckled shoes and wondered how long it would be until it turned brittle and yellow.

I could hear Draco's voice as he talked with Crabbe and Goyle, but I wasn't paying attention to what he was saying. Pansy responded shrilly, catching my attention long enough for me to hear something about Professor Trelawney predicting that Harry would die this year.

I went back to mourning the grass. It would die fifty times before Harry's hair even turned silver.

As much as I liked my new professor, Harry wouldn't die…at least not this year. He was a fighter. Besides, if her interpretation of her own aura was any indication, her clairvoyant talents – or lack thereof – were not awe-inspiring.

"Come on, now, get a move on," Hagrid suddenly bellowed as he slammed his door a little too hard behind him. I thought I'd even heard the sound of a plate crashing to the ground from inside. "Got a real treat for yeh today! Everyone here? Right, follow me."

As he trudged towards the Forbidden Forest, we all followed after him hesitantly until we saw that he was staying to the outskirts. We never went more than ten paces inside of the forest, which put everyone at ease.

When we reached our destination, a beautiful paddock surrounded by sunlight and dust, we gathered around the fence and were instructed to open our textbooks. The entire class stared at him and shifted their weight uncomfortably. Clearly, I hadn't been the only one to try to open the Monster Book of Monsters on my own.

"How?" Draco asked, letting his arms rise and fall in a gesture of annoyed helplessness, "How do we open our books?"

Almost everyone's eyes, including those of the Gryffindors, turned to Hagrid with hopeful looks, but when Hagrid looked over his shoulder at us, he seemed so disappointed that I almost felt bad for him.

"Hasn'…hasn' anyone bin able ter open their books?" he asked.

We all shook our heads solemnly, as though we all shared the same mind and network of muscles.

"Well…you've got ter stroke the spine, o' course," he explained, taking a Gryffindor's book to illustrate an example.

"Oh how silly we've all been," Draco replied, his voice dripping with sarcasm, "Why didn't we guess?"

"I-I…thought they were funny," Hagrid muttered, looking down at his own brown, bulky boots.

"Oh tremendously funny! Really witty, giving us books that try to rip our hands off."

"Shut up, Draco," I said, nudging him with my elbow, but then I realized that I hadn't been the only one to say it.

Harry was standing behind us with clenched fists and furrowed eyebrows.

"I liked the book, Hagrid," he told him.

"So did I," I added when I saw that Hagrid looked like a little boy who had just been told that he couldn't play exploding wizard snaps with the other kids.

When Harry came to stand next to me, on the opposite side as Draco, I glanced at him out of the corner of my eye and his face softened. Then he cracked a tiny smile at me.

"Right then," Hagrid continued, visibly regaining his confidence, "So…yeh've got yer books an' now yeh need yer magical creatures. So I'll go an' get 'em."

Once he was gone, Draco turned to me, clearly making an effort to not look over my shoulder at Harry, Weasley, and Hermione.

"God, this place has gone to the dogs," he growled, wiping the late-summer sweat from the back of his neck, "That oaf teaching classes? My father'll have a fit when I tell him."

"Shut up, Malfoy," Harry repeated.

Draco's eyes floated from mine to Harry's as his face turned to one of disgust. It looked like he was about to throw insults at him like exploding wizard crackers, but then his expression turned to one of fear as he looked into the sky.

"Potter, there's a dementor behind you!"

Harry's eyes widened like saucers as he whirled around. I spun too, but once we realized that there was no dementor, Draco burst into laughter.

"That's enough," I told him, grabbing his arm and pulling him away from Harry.

When I looked back, Harry's cheeks were red and he was glaring furiously at Draco.

"That was really funny," snarled Hermione after us.

Draco pulled against my grip on his robes as he opened his mouth to yell something back at her, but then Hagrid returned, leading a very large, strange animal into the clearing past the fence.

Its body looked like that of a horse, though the size was more like an elk. But it had magnificent wings, and when my eyes reached its head, I noticed that the creature's head looked like a bird's.

Once we saw it, we couldn't look away. Even Draco was mesmerized.

"This is a Hippogriff. Beau'iful, isn't it? So, if yeh want ter come a bit nearer…" but when no one showed any interest in being the first one to come nearer, Hagrid continued, "Now, firs' thing yeh gotta know 'bout Hippogriffs is, they're proud. Easily offended, Hippogriffs are. Don't never insult one, 'cause it just might be the last thing yeh do."

"Sounds like you," I whispered to Draco, nudging him, but then I realized that he wasn't even paying attention to me or the lesson.

Instead, he was chatting with Crabbe and Goyle. I rolled my eyes and turned back to Hagrid, hoping that Draco's lack of concentration would come back to him.

"Yeh always wait for the Hippogriff ter make the firs' move. It's polite, see? Yeh walk towards him, an' yeh bow yer head, an' yeh wait. If he bows back, yeh're allowed to touch. If he doesn', get away from him sharpish because those talons hurt. Right. Now, who wants ter go first?"

Everyone fell silent. Even Draco's side-conversation had stopped. Hagrid's question hung in the air. Nobody wanted to touch the Hippogriff, but I wasn't afraid. I stepped forward and opened my mouth.

"I'll do it."

But the words weren't mine.

I turned my head and saw that Harry had also stepped forward.

Then he looked over at me.

"Oh! Unless…you wanted to," he offered, cheeks turning pink again.

I pressed my lips together and stared back at him.

"No, its fine," I forced myself to say, returning to my place next to Draco.

"You're not even going to argue?" Draco asked in disbelief, "You're just going to let him take your place?"

I shrugged, "It's no big deal."

"Yes it is. You're too…passive."

"You're too aggressive."

Draco grew silent, and for a moment, I thought we were done with the conversation. But then I caught a glimpse of his scheming face.

"Alright, what if we made a deal. I'll try to be less aggressive. Nicer. Even to Willow. If you grow a backbone."

I didn't think I was too much of a push-over. Breaking rules and doing what I needed to do were actions I was well-acquainted with. What I had just shown Harry was common courtesy.

Right?

"Whatever," I grumbled, "Anything to get you to be nicer to people."

We were drawn out of our conversation by the heavy flap of wings as the Hippogriff took off with Harry on its back. I felt a sharp pang of jealousy watching them soar freely through the open sky.

That should have been me.

Maybe Draco was right. Power seemed a lot better than kindness. Besides, was that not the decision I made when I chose Slytherin over Gryffindor? I chose it for Draco, but in doing so I knowingly chose superiority over courage. Manipulation over chivalry.

It was about time that I started acting like it.

About ten minutes later, Harry and the Hippogriff landed. Before he dismounted, he hugging the animal tightly. It was clear that in the short amount of time they were gone, a relationship had formed.

Another spark of jealousy shot through me, and my palms grew warm.

As soon as the Hippogriff was firmly on the ground, Harry climbed off and Hagrid clapped him on the shoulder.

"Good work, Harry!" he praised.

I forced a polite smile as Harry returned to his spot beside me. As he did, I didn't even notice Draco saunter up to the Buckbeak until it was too late.

"I bet you're not dangerous at all, are you?" he jeered at the animal, "You great, ugly brute."

Suddenly, the creature reared back majestically, throwing out its wings and putting its talons on display. With one of its feet, it kicked at Draco, slicing open the arm that had been raised in defense.

He yelped and fell backwards into the grass.

Hagrid rushed to calm Buckbeak, and as he quieted the creature, I rushed over to Draco. Once the Hippogriff was no longer enraged, Hagrid turned to us, listening to Draco whine about how the thing had just tried to kill him. His face was pale with the fear of knowing that his job could be jeopardized, and he scooped Draco up as if he weighed no more than a stuffed animal.

"We've got to get him to the hospital wing!" he exclaimed, frantically running towards the school.

Watching such a big man run was terrifying – even worse when my best friend was in his arms. But they were gone before anyone could even fully process what had happened.

However, once they were out of sight, the entire class burst into conversation about what had just transpired.

"They should fire him straight away!" Pansy exclaimed, throwing her hands in the air.

"It was Malfoy's fault!" a Gryffindor I didn't know shot back at her.

Arguments started spreading like wildfire until everyone seemed to be engaged in one big fight. I knew it needed to stop, but I hated being the center of attention. I couldn't do anything to stop the arguing.

But then I remembered what Draco had told me about growing a backbone. I could be brave and stand up to all of these people, even if some of them hated me or disagreed with me. And even if everyone would be looking at me.

I forced myself not to think about it as I climbed up the side of the fence.

"Hey!" I yelled and then waited until the angry shouting had dwindled into nothingness, "It doesn't matter whose fault it is. Right now, Draco isn't here, but neither is Hagrid. What would he say if he knew our class couldn't keep it together for ten minutes in his absence?"

"Who cares?" a Slytherin named Blaise answered.

"We're better than that, Slytherin. None of us need to be fighting over who gets the blame. How will that benefit us? It's not even our fight. This is between Draco and Hagrid. Knowing Draco's father, you might get your wish that Hagrid is fired, Pansy. But until then, the blame isn't for us to argue about. So everyone needs to just grow up until Hagrid gets back. We're third years, after all, not first years."

Some Gryffindors lowered their heads in shame, but then Harry climbed the ladder next to me. I fought not to roll my eyes. Yes, he was famous, but he didn't know what to say to get the Slytherins to respect him. In fact, his alliance with me only discredited everything I had said to the Slytherins.

"Raven is right," he said, "We shouldn't be fighting. Now, Hagrid's not here and class is almost over. Perhaps we should move along to our next lesson."

"We should," I added harshly when I saw some of my House scoff.

One by one, they all stalked out of the area and headed back to the castle. I stayed because I had a free period, and I was hoping to take a quick ride on Buckbeak before Hagrid returned. However, I wasn't the only one who stayed behind.

"I'm sorry, Raven," Harry said, scratching the back of his neck, "I would have let you ride him. It wasn't a big deal."

"It's fine."

"Not really. I didn't need to ride him."

"Neither did I," I almost laughed, "When I said you could go instead of me that was my choice."

He nodded, looking at the ground. Then he glanced back up, his eyes darting between Buckbeak and me.

"That's why you're staying after, isn't it?" he asked, "You're going to ride him."

"Promise not to tell anyone?"

"I wouldn't do that."

We stared at each other for a few silent moments. I was waiting for him to leave so that I could ride Buckbeak, but he seemed to have no intention of doing so. In fact, he looked like he wanted to say something else. He shifted back and forth on his feet.

"I could ride with you," he offered with a wide smile, "It might be fun."

I bit my lip. I didn't really want to ride with him. I wanted to ride by myself and have the same experience he did. I wanted to feel the freedom of flying in the air alone. I wanted to create my own relationship with the Hippogriff.

But Harry looked at me with such hope in his eyes that I couldn't imagine refusing him.

"Alright," I sighed.

"Great! Go greet him first. Make sure he knows you respect him. Then I can help you on, and once you're on, I'll get on."

I forced a smile and a nod as I walked over to the Hippogriff.

"Hello," I greeted with a smile.

Buckbeak looked at me as I stopped a few feet away from him. Bending at the hips, I bowed and waited until he did the same. At first, I was worried he wouldn't, but then I saw his shadow cover mine out of the corner of my eye.

Straightening up, I held my hand out for him. Immediately, he nuzzled his beak into my palm. As he stepped closer to me, I giggled like a first year and ran my hand over his back, feeling his silky feathers.

He lowered himself to the ground and threw his head in the direction of his back, signaling that I should get on. I knew I shouldn't be riding the Hippogriff without Hagrid's permission…or at least not without his supervision. But I'd already broken more than a hundred school rules in my previous two years at Hogwarts, so I wasted no time approaching the side of the magnificent creature.

Harry moved to help me, but before he even reached me, I'd swung one leg over Buckbeak's back. When I was on, Harry mounted behind me. The beast turned away from the paddock, towards the denseness of the forest as he began to flap his wings. I held on tighter when I felt us become airborne.

I fought not to close my eyes as I saw the treetops beneath us. As we soared, I felt my cloak flowing like a superhero cape behind me, likely wrapping around Harry like a snake.

The canopy below us started to look like a green and golden carpet, and when I looked ahead I saw nothing but the sky and the approaching Black Lake.

I couldn't believe how free I felt. In the air with Buckbeak, I felt detached from all of my worries. Draco and Willow weren't fighting. My father wasn't abusive. Mr. Malfoy hadn't smacked me at the beginning of last summer. The Death Eaters weren't looking to me to lead them. I could even pretend that Harry wasn't sitting behind me.

This was different than riding a broomstick. When I rode my Nimbus 2001, I couldn't feel the warmth and life of it between my legs. I couldn't sense that it felt as free as I did. With the Hippogriff, I felt as though we were one.

As the warm summer wind seemed to envelop me, I let out a cry of excitement, feeling as though I were alone in the cloudless sky. I felt as light as the feathers on Buckbeak's majestic wings.

Then we dipped downward, heading straight into the Black Lake. I let out scream that quickly turned to laughter when Buckbeak's body became horizontal again, floating over the water. I could even feel the mist ghost over my bare legs where my skirt and stockings couldn't reach each other.

All too soon, we were flying over the treetops again, returning to the paddock.

After we landed, I slipped off the Hippogriff's back and stroked his neck as Harry dismounted. He nuzzled his beak against my shoulder and I embraced his thick neck in return.

Then I glanced at Harry and blushed as I remembered that he'd been behind me the entire time. I'd felt as though I was alone, and I acted as such. When I cried out as we flew, it had been private and instinctual. I'd barely even acted that way in front of Draco.

"That was fun," I explained awkwardly, turning from Buckbeak to grab my books.

Buckbeak made a noise of protest and followed after me, but I fought to ignore him.

"Yeah, it was," Harry agreed, grinning, "I don't think I've ever seen you so happy."

I didn't reply as I slung my bag over my shoulder.

"Er…are you alright?" he asked, and when I glanced at him, I saw that his grin had faded.

"I'm fine," I answered, pushing my tangled, chocolatey hair away from my face, "I just…I need to go check on Draco. I expect he's wondering where I am."

Whatever was left of Harry's grin fell from his face.

"Oh, yeah. I'd expect so."

But I was already walking down the path back to the castle.


	6. Chapter 6

**Hey guys! Sorry this took so long. When I got back from spring break, classes really started picking up. Here's the next chapter. The one after this is already edited and ready to go, so you can expect it within the next few days.**

 **Chapter Six**

As soon as I walked into the hospital wing, I could hear Draco's whining. Madame Pomfrey and Pansy were both standing over him with almost humorously contrasting facial expressions. Pansy had a look of intense concern over her face. It looked as if she had just seen one of the owls attack her familiar. There were even tear brimming in her eyes.

Madame Pomfrey, on the other hand, had seen this before. She was no stranger to students acting as though their injuries were the end of the world when they were able to be cured within a week.

"Stop going on like this!" she scolded, "You'll be completely healed within a few days."

But her words were lost on both Draco and the sniveling girl beside him, and she could tell. Madame Pomfrey shook her head at them and glided towards the door. As she passed me, she gave a look of sympathy before she had left the three of us alone in the room.

"Pansy, don't you have a class?" I asked, stepping closer to Draco's cot.

"Yes, but Draco's more important," she sobbed, draping herself over his body. When she put a little too much weight on his arm, he grimaced, "He needs someone to look after him."

"That's why I'm here," I informed, "I have a free period now. I'll stay here with Draco while you go to class."

I knew she didn't want to go, but this was stupid. I wasn't going to let her miss a class because Draco had a scrape on his arm. Besides, I wanted to be alone with Draco for a while without her flirting with him.

At first, Pansy glared at me, but after only a moment, she nodded. Sniffling, she grabbed her books and shuffled past me, away from the hospital wing. As soon as the door had completely shut behind her, Draco's whining and dramatics ceased like the needle being taken off a record.

In its place appeared a large smirk.

"What are you doing?" I asked, exasperated as I took Pansy's seat next to the cot.

"I'm going to get Hagrid fired," he answered confidently. I shook my head in disbelief but then Draco's eyes widened, "You rode the beast! Well done!"

"What? How do you-?"

I was cut off by his good arm shooting towards me so that he could pick a little, fuzzy feather out of my hair. He picked a few more from my robes before grinning at me mischievously. I rolled my eyes.

"It's not a big deal," I defended, "You act like I've done something unspeakable. After everyone left, I took a quick ride."

I failed to mention that Harry had been riding right behind me. I didn't want Draco to know that Harry had been so close to me, pressed against my back as we soared through the clouds. Maybe I was worried that it would make him jealous.

Or maybe I was worried that it wouldn't.

"Bad girl," he chuckled, "What would the oaf say if he knew?"

"Who cares? I didn't get hurt. What's the worst he could do? Give me a detention? I'm terrified. If there's one good thing that came out of my father's abuse, it's that I'm not afraid of punishment anymore unless it's from him."

Draco forced a laugh, but I knew he hated when I joked about my father's abuse…or when I talked about it in general. He hated how powerless the situation made him feel. He wanted to save me, but he couldn't.

Not like his father could, anyway.

As he laughed, he casually laid his hand over mine. I watched his face, hoping to catch a glimmer of some deeper meaning. Oh, I really wanted there to be. I wished with all my heart that he would hold my hand forever. My heart stopped when he turned his head and looked into my eyes, his laughter dying away.

"Raven," he began as I swam in his beautiful blue eyes, "I've been wanting to ask you something."

"What?" I breathed.

"We've been friends since birth, but…I don't know…" he trailed off, and confusion and panic replaced my hope.

"What is it?" I asked nervously, hoping that he wasn't about to end our friendship.

"I think I'm starting to feel differently about you. And I've been wanting to say something for a long time, but this morning in divination, when we both had the symbol of an admirer…"

He wrapped his fingers around my hand and squeezed, telling me that I had been right in my assumptions about him having feelings for me too. Relief flooded through me as I smiled.

"Yes, I've been feeling the same way about you," I answered, squeezing his hand back.

"Will you…would you…" he paused and looked away, chuckling awkwardly, "Would you want to be my girlfriend, then?"

"Yes," I giggled, squeezing his hand gently. As I leaned down to hug him, he smiled back.

I didn't think I'd ever felt happier.

* * *

It was a week later when, Draco and I arrived to Potions class five minutes late. Even though Draco was well enough to attend class, his injured arm genuinely kept him from being able to carry his books on his own. He also seemed to be excused if he came into class late.

It was standard policy for students with broken legs and feet to be allowed to leave class early so they wouldn't have to worry about other students stepping on them and hurting them further. But no one said anything to Draco when he came to class late with a broken arm.

And I was, of course, more than happy to carry my boyfriend's books for him.

Once we'd walked in, Professor Snape assigned us our station in which we'd work on our potion for that day. Unfortunately, this meant that Draco and I were paired with Harry and Weasley, and though this annoyed me, Draco seemed delighted.

"Sir," he called to Snape, "I'll need help cutting up these daisy roots because of my arm."

"Weasley," he droned in return, "cut up Malfoy's roots for him."

Ignoring the feud that sparked between the boys, I busied myself with the leech juice. There was no reason to even look up from what I was doing until I saw Snape's black cloak sweep back into view.

"Change roots with Malfoy, Weasley," he barked.

I looked across the table at the roots Weasley had sloppily cut for Draco. He huffed as he slid his perfect ones over to us. I hated Weasley, and I thought the trade was fair, considering he had purposefully cut up our roots terribly.

But I wasn't about to get involved.

"Potter," Snape continued, "You can skin Malfoy's shrivelfig."

When Snape had gone, I held out my hand for the plant.

"I'll do it, Harry," I offered, smiling apologetically.

He tried to smile back, but it looked like more of a grimace. As he began to hand it back, Draco's hand shot out, acting as a wall between my hand and Harry's.

"No," Draco said, "Potter's got it. You're busy with something."

"It's fine," I insisted, trying to push Draco's hand away, but he shook his head.

"No, Raven. Potter can do it."

I felt my shoulders slump. I couldn't get between these boys anymore. It was too frustrating. Draco wouldn't let anything go, and I knew that no matter how hard I tried to argue, we'd only succeed in wasting time, and Harry would still be stuck skinning the shrivelfig.

Rolling my eyes, I went back to what I was doing, shooting Harry another apologetic glance. This time, my attempt at a smile looked much more like a grimace.

Soon enough, the shrivelfig was flung back at Draco.

"Miss Ashe, come here," Snape murmured from his desk.

I sighed, dropping what I was working on before walking over.

"Your father," he began, "wanted me to ensure that you weren't getting in any trouble this year. Considering your alliances and priorities over the past two years, I'd say he has a right to be concerned."

"He doesn't know about-."

"He knows that you failed your assignment last year."

I breathed a subtle sigh of relief. Father didn't know that I helped Harry defeat the Dark Lord in order to save Willow. And apparently neither did Snape. They only knew that I had failed.

"Well, of course," I shot back, "But I'm not getting into any trouble this year, so you can tell my father to stop being concerned."

Maybe I'd be more nervous standing before my actual father. Some kids were afraid of Snape, but the most he could do was discipline me within the school guidelines. He wouldn't be able to hit me or torture me using the crutiartus curse, nor do I think he would want to.

But even now that I'd snapped at him, he didn't even look angry.

"What have you heard of Sirius Black?" he asked, lowering his voice.

"Nothing. Lucius Malfoy told me I should have nothing to do with him."

"Good. He's right. And what of young Mr. Malfoy?" he asked, nodding at Draco, who was giving Harry a pile of lime green caterpillars to slice, "Are you two…?"

"We're together. Why does that matter?"

"I'm only repeating the questions that your father asked me in his letters. I cannot answer anything about his implications or intentions."

"He asked about Draco?"

"Yes. He didn't indicate whether a more…intimate relationship between you two would be positive or not, but under the circumstances, he probably asked to ensure your loyalties are where they should be."

"And are they?"

He hesitated.

"Based on what you decided to share with me, everything seems to be in order. I'll be asking to meet with you whenever I receive another letter from your father. He has asked me to provide him with reports every month or so. For now, I can tell him everything is as it should be."


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter Seven**

Later that day, I walked Draco to our Defense Against the Dark Arts lesson.

When we arrived, the class was just beginning, and Draco looked over our new, ragged teacher with a look a vague disgust as he explained what we would be doing in the class.

He told us to imagine clearly the thing in which we feared the most. He would let something called a boggart out of the trembling, polished wardrobe, and it would transform into our worst fear.

I'd already heard a little bit about the activity from the Gryffindors, who'd had the class prior to ours. Apparently, Longbottom's boggart had emerged as Professor Snape, and to make it something less frightening, Longbottom proceeded to dress the boggart as his grandmother.

Professor Lupin, after teaching us the spell _Riddikulus_ , set the boggart free. I was expecting something dark and luminous to present itself to Crabbe. A giant acromantula. An obscurial. A clown. Something that would make the other students recoil.

Instead, a blur of blue flitted from the darkness of the wardrobe.

I glanced at Draco to see how he was reacting to the Cornish pixie that Crabbe was so afraid of, but Draco's face was buried in his hands. Fighting off laughter with the rest of my classmates, I turned my attention back to Crabbe.

The pixie fluttered around him, and he rotated heavily on his heels, trying to keep the pixie in his sight. His wand was raised, but the only thing that came out of his mouth was a serious of low groans and whimpers.

I remembered the Cornish pixies from Lockhart's class the previous year, and I suspected that this fear was a product of what had happened then. Regardless, the burly – albeit pudgy – form of Crabbe cowering before a tiny, blue pixie was very humorous.

" _Riddikulus_!" he cast finally, causing it to multiply into two pixies and a Longbottom.

The two pixies replayed the scene that had happened a year ago when they lifted Longbottom by his ears and hung him from the skeleton that hung from the ceiling.

Once it transformed, all of the Slytherins burst into laughter. I knew most of them remembered last year. Even if they weren't in the class, they'd definitely been told about it.

The only person not laughing was Lupin, whose eyebrows were creased in a look of disappointment. If Crabbe noticed as he made his way to the side of the room, he didn't care student.

The boggart shifted its attention to Pansy Parkinson, who stood tall as hers turned into a Bavarian Erkling. He skittered around her with a big smile. He looked almost adorable and innocent until he raised a small tube to his lips. He took a deep breath, preparing to shoot the darts at Pansy's bare legs.

" _Riddikulus_!" she shouted.

At first, we weren't sure that anything had happened, but then the Erkling tried to shoot the blow dart. Instead of the flying needle, however, the end of the tube exploded in a cloud of colorful confetti and sparkles.

As the Erkling looked back and forth between the dart tube and Pansy in confusion and helplessness, Pansy skipped to join Crabbe near the windows. Then the Erkling's smile returned as it looked at me.

Without the menacing grin leaving the boggart's face, it predictably rose up into my father. He sneered as he came closer. I should have thought of something else. My father's abuse was not something I wanted the other students to see. I didn't want them to know about him. About how I feared him and what he did to me. But no matter what I tried to think of, I wasn't afraid of anything more than my father.

He stormed up to me angrily. I raised my wand in defense, but fear clouded my mind. I forgot that it was only a boggart. How could it be when it was so clearly my father? I didn't want him here. I didn't want to see him.

I froze, unable to even remember what spell I was supposed to cast.

A second later, I was on the ground. One of my ears was ringing, but I could still hear my wand as it clattered across the room. My cheek burned with the backhand and the humiliation that it had happened in front of my classmates.

Lupin stepped forward, drawing his wand with an expression of pity.

My cheeks grew redder. The last thing I wanted was the pity of a man who couldn't even afford to properly dress himself.

But at the same moment, Draco stepped forward as well.

" _Riddikulus_!" he cast at my father.

I watched as my father's fists swelled into giant balloons before popping. Some of the other students offered weak, supporting laughs, but I knew that they pitied me too. I couldn't bring myself to laugh with them. I just laid on the floor as Lupin caused the boggart to retreat back into the wardrobe.

"I think that's enough for today," Lupin said, "Class dismissed. Ravenfire, could I speak to you after class?"

I looked back at Draco and nodded for him to go on without me. I'd catch up. He had Pansy gather his books as the rest of the students filtered out of the room. When Lupin and I were alone, he offered a hand to help me to my feet.

I get up without taking his hand.

"I'd like to apologize," he began, eyeing the bruise that was already blossoming on my cheek, "Boggarts aren't usually so aggressive. Forgive me if I'm being insensitive, but it appeared as your father, correct?"

"My father is the only thing I fear," I answered simply.

"Not the Dark Lord? Not Peeves or spiders or needles? Not rats or snakes or bombs? Not dragons or dementors?"

"No," I replied, suspecting that I was cutting short what would have been an extremely long list of alternatives to present to the class, "Dementors don't really have an effect on me, and everything else pales in comparison to my father. The Dark Lord is powerful, but I've faced him twice already and won. My father is different. With him, I can't win. I can't even defend myself."

"Ravenfire, I'm sure Dumbledore could help with this problem if you'd let him. I know he would do whatever it took for the safety of one of his students."

"No! My father can't know I've spoken to you, or that the boggart turned into him in front of the whole class. I have a safe place I can escape to. There's nothing more you can do."

Lupin looked at me with a pained expression.

"I understand," he forces himself to say, "But there's one more thing. It isn't about your father. I know that you have a propensity to look for things you're curious about, so I'd have to ask you not to go looking for Sirius Black."

"Why would I do that?" I shot back.

"I only know that you have a reputation for searching for danger."

I rolled my eyes, "There's nothing intriguing about Black. He's just another murderer."

Lupin pursed his lips, then nodded.

"Very good. You may go now."

* * *

"Look at the state of his robes," Draco whispered to me, leaning over in the creaking, wooden chair during Lupin's lecture on Kappas a few days later, "He dresses like our old house elf."

I smiled politely, but the loss of Dobby still brought back the sour memory of Lucius hitting me. Besides, I was trying to pay attention to the lesson. When I looked back at Professor Lupin, Draco leaned even closer.

"Quidditch try-outs are this weekend. I won't be going because of my arm, but Flint guaranteed me my spot as seeker when it heals. You still need to go, though," he breathed in my ear, making my heart flutter, but I could only look back at him sadly.

"I don't think I'm trying out this year."

"What?" he hissed.

"Maybe next year. If Flint gets it right this time and graduates, I won't have a reason not to try out. I enjoy Quidditch, but I don't want to deal with him."

"Miss Ashe and Mr. Malfoy," Lupin called from the front of the room.

The entire class turned around to look at us, but no one commented or chuckled. Many of the Slytherins respected me too much for that. If only Flint respected me as much as they did, there wouldn't be a problem.

"Stop whispering over me or I'll have to separate you two."

My cheeks burned in embarrassment. I hated when Professors scolded me in front of the entire class. Everyone did.

But Lupin didn't dwell on the fact that Draco and I had been whispering to each other. As he continued his lecture, he drew the attention away from us. One by one, our classmates turned back to look at the front of the room, where Lupin was showing a diagram of a Kappa.

As we listened to the rest of the lecture, I felt Draco's knuckles brush against the back of my hand underneath the desk. Then he tangled his fingers with mine, and they remained that was for the rest of the class.


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter Eight**

It was the Monday following Quidditch try-outs when I walked through an empty corridor on my way to my Charms class. I didn't hear my pursuer that stepped lightly on the stones behind me until they gripped the back of my robes between my shoulder blades and threw me against the nearest wall.

The books I'd been carrying scattered to the ground at my feet, and as I slid to the ground, my fingers searched blindly for the wand inside of the waistband of my skirt. I had just found the end of the wand when my attacker grabbed my neck and slid me back up the prickling stone wall so that only my toes could brush against the floor. I heard the hollow clatter of my wand on the ground.

"Why weren't you at try-outs yesterday?" Flint growled, flashing his crooked teeth.

"I'm not playing this year," I tried to keep my voice steady, like the girls in books I've read in the past, but I could hear my words trembling.

Flint licked his lips.

"Lucky for you," he sneered, "I saved you a spot as a beater. You better be at the first practice."

"I won't be."

Flint's fingers tightened around my throat as he lifted me so my toes could no longer feel the ground as I thrashed.

"I'm not joining the team this year," I rasped, "I hate you. I won't join as long as you're the captain."

He shook his head, chuckling lightly as he pulled out his wand with his free hand. He then pressed the tip to my chest, right over my heart.

"I promise that it'll be a lot worse for you if you're not there," he snarled, squeezing my neck even tighter, "Be there."

I wanted to tell him again that I wouldn't go. I wanted to be strong and spit in his face. I wanted to be able to stand up to him, but as I opened my mouth to argue, my vision turned black, like someone had turned off a light switch. But it also felt like I was looking at a muggle television filled with static. I couldn't see. I couldn't breathe. I could hardly even think.

"I'll be there," I choked as I felt a tear roll down my cheeks.

He released me, and I fell to my knees at his feet, sucking in a greedy gulp of air.

"Glad to hear it," he told me as he straightened his robes, "I'll see you then."

I watched from the ground as Flint retreated down the hallway. Then I noticed a pair of leather shoes standing in front of me. I followed them up the clean, pressed robes to a blue and silver tie, but before I could look at his face, I looked back at the ground. I didn't think that I could meet his eyes after being so humiliated by Flint.

"Are you okay?" he asked, crouching down to help me pick up my books.

"I'm fine," I lied while I gathered a notebook that had fallen next to me. My throat ached as I spoke like there was a rock lodged inside of it.

The Ravenclaw handed me my other books, now stacked in a neat pile. He also grabbed my wand and tucked it into the waistband of my skirt.

"I saw that boy leaving when I came around the corner. I could turn him in, if you want," he offered, "That way, he couldn't be mad at you."

"No, but thank you," I responded, still only letting myself glance far enough to see his warm smile, "Nothing can stop him. Not even the teachers. Hopefully, it's his last year, but he's too old to think he's under their authority."

"You don't deserve to be treated like that."

Finally, I raised my eyes from my books to meet his.

He was attractive. His green eyes glimmered and pierced me, making my breath come in short pants, and his black, tousled hair made him look carelessly handsome. For a moment, I forgot about Draco, getting lost in this boy's eyes.

But what struck me more than his looks was the feeling he gave me. There was something odd about it while also being somewhat familiar. It was an uneasy feeling, something that may be interpreted as fear, but there was more to it.

He made me feel like I needed to drink something. I felt parched, but there was also a feeling of memory. Of times in my childhood when I felt safe and happy. For instance, when I used to draw pictures and play imaginary games with Draco in the manor's garden, or when Lucius used to let me fly his old broomstick.

It also reminded me of things I'd never experienced but had longed to, like visiting the rainforest or spending a week without magic at a muggle resort in Greece. His gaze spoke to desires that were buried deep inside me.

It was then that I realized what the feeling was and when I'd felt it before.

Longing; and it had been the scary feeling that I'd felt a year before roaming the halls as my fox form and running into his silhouette sitting in the window sill, writing in a small journal.

I cleared my throat and looked away.

"Thank you," I forced myself to say with a light laugh, "but I can handle it myself. Flint treats me no worse than my father."

I wished I could have taken the words back as soon as I said them. I didn't want everyone in the school to know that my father abused me, but there was something about the boy that made me feel as though I could trust him. Besides, ever since Defense Against the Dark Arts, news that my father was an abuser had spread like the bruise on my cheek.

The boy pressed his lips together, looking troubled.

"Look," he spoke softly, resting a warm hand on my shoulder, "If you ever need anyone to help you, or anyone to talk to, just come and find me. My name is Tamani."

"Thank you."

I wanted so badly to accept his offer, but I knew that I never would.

We stood up together, and he forced a smile.

"I'll see you around, then, Raven."

Before I had a chance to ask how he knew my name, he had already strode to the end of the hallway and turned the corner. Once he was gone, I rushed the opposite direction through the corridor to the bathroom.

While I'd been in his presence, I'd forgotten the aching of my throat from both the force and the threatening tears. When I entered the bathroom, I made a beeline for the mirror. In addition to the bruise on my cheek, the skin where Flint's fingers had just been was also turning purple.

Almost everyone knew about the boggart now, but fingerprints couldn't even be explained away as an accident. I splashed some water onto my face and took a quick drink to help the pain.

Once the burning had eased to a dull throb, I left the bathroom hastily, worrying that I would be late to Charms if I wasted anymore time.

* * *

"Miss Ashe," Snape droned later that night, after classes and dinner were both over, "I wanted to talk to you about your permission form to Hogsmeade."

I sat across the table from him in his dimly lit office.

When he called me in, I could only imagine what juicy news he wanted to feed my father, who would later punish me for it. I failed the last exam? He noticed the bruises on my neck? He'd caught Draco sneaking out of my dorm after saying goodnight? He knew about the boggart incident?

Anything except the Hogsmeade permission form.

I looked at him in confusion.

"What about it?"

"The form is signed by your father?"

"Yes…?

"I find it very unlikely that you went to your father, whom you fear, instead of your mother."

"I tried to go to my mother. He ran into me before I could find her."

"In addition, I took it upon myself to send a letter to your father asking him to verify that he signed it. He responded saying that you forged the signature. And to be quite honest, though they are very similar, the signature on the permission form and the ones on his letters aren't identical."

Tears bit at my eyes.

"I didn't forge the signature," I choked, trying – but failing – to hide my indignation.

An unfamiliar look crossed Snape's face. It almost looked like pity, but it didn't comfort me. Instead, it sent a spark of anger shooting through my fingertips.

"Look at you," he sighed, shaking his head, "Why is it you're always covered in bruises? Where did you get the ones on your neck?"

I looked away, refusing to answer. Briefly putting myself in his shoes, I could see myself. A little girl who tried to act like an adult, disheveled hair, crimson and violet cheeks, glossed and far-away eyes, and injured skin.

Pathetic.

The need to cry grew until it possessed my entire body.

But I couldn't let Snape see me cry. Not a Death Eater. Not a friend of my father.

I got up and fled the room. I ran through the dark, vacant halls until I crashed into Willow, who caught me in her arms and led me to the common room.

"Hey! What's wrong?" she asked, noticing my tears as she sat me on the couch.

"I'm not allowed to go to Hogsmeade this year because my f-f-father," I sniffled, trying not to hyperventilate. I didn't need to be so dramatic. I was more mature than that, but then I remembered what I must have looked like from Snape's perspective. A little girl who tried to act like an adult.

My parents and the Death Eaters made me into this, but sitting on the big, leather couch, I realized that I truly was just a little girl. I stopped trying to hold back my tears. I couldn't be strong all the time.

"My f-f-f-father, who signed the p-permission form," I continued, "wrote to Snape t-t-t-telling him I forged it!"

Willow grimaced, and at first, I was worried that it was because I couldn't hide my emotions. But then her hand found my back, rubbing it gently.

"That's not very nice of him to do. Do you think you could just sneak out in your fox form?"

"I wouldn't fool anyone. Thanks to McGonagall, everyone already knows that I can transform into a fox, and they would know it was me as soon as they couldn't find me."

She shrugged, though she still looked troubled that my father would do such a thing, "I know you'll find a way. Everyone knows that if you want something, you'll do whatever it takes to get it. I don't believe for a minute that you'll let your father, or Snape for that matter, keep you from going to Hogsmeade with Draco. So bring me back something, okay?"

I hesitated, sniffling.

Maybe this was how everyone saw me, but they were wrong. There were so many situations that I couldn't get myself out of, no matter how hard I tried. I couldn't escape my father or Flint or my prophecy or anything.

I certainly couldn't escape this.

But I didn't argue because a part of me wanted to prove her right, and myself wrong. I wanted to be the person that the whole school thought I was. I wanted to be stronger than I knew I was. So I just sighed.

"Okay," I whispered.


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter Nine**

"Sorry to hear about Hogsmeade," Flint sneered as we walked back to the castle.

Because I missed try-outs, he'd been making me stay an hour later than everyone else. He called it "extra practice," but I knew that it was his form of punishing me. Draco normally waited for me, but he hadn't that night because he had to finish an astronomy project that was due the next morning. This left Flint and I alone for our walk back to the Slytherin common room.

"How do you know about that?" I asked as we followed the damp, stone stairs to the dungeons.

"I know things."

I rolled my eyes but continued walking. I wanted to make a comment about his failure to graduate on time, but I kept quiet. I didn't want to give into his antagonization.

Besides, my personal life was none of his business.

"I could get you there," he continued through my silence.

"I'll find my own way, thanks."

"Listen."

His voice dropped to a near growl as he stepped in front of me, blocking my path as we descended the dripping staircase into the dungeons.

"It wasn't an option, you ungrateful little bitch. You'll go with me to Hogsmeade, or you won't go at all. If you find another way, I'll tell Snape."

"Then I'll tell him you almost strangled me," I bluffed, "He's already been asking about the bruises on my neck."

Flint froze in fear. He knew that it would be very unpleasant if Snape found out that he had choked me in order to get me to join the Quidditch team this year. I used his momentary shock to shove past him and continue to the common room.

By the time I reached the roaring fire and Draco lounging on the leather, I was almost jogging. The discomfort I felt around Flint immediately melted away when I saw Draco. I plopped down on the couch next to him as he wrapped an arm around me and kissed my cheek.

Flint glowered at us as he walked up to his bedroom.

"How was the extra practice?" Draco asked, turning back to his chart and making marks with the side of a piece of charcoal. The golden, wrinkled parchment in his lap was solely lit by the glow of the fire.

"Tedious and unnecessary. Do you want to copy mine?" I offered.

"I'm almost finished, but I'll copy your divination homework. I don't know how you managed to become the old bat's favorite, but she obviously likes you more than anyone else."

"She likes me because I noticed her aura on the first day. Although, when she spoke about it, she said it was a different color than I saw. I didn't think it was polite to correct her, especially since I don't really know what her true color means."

Draco gave me a sideways glance.

"How come you never told me you could read auras?" he challenged.

"I didn't know I could until that day. I've never noticed them before. Hers was just very strong. Besides, I doubt it's anything spectacular."

"It is. Not many people I know of can do that. What color is mine?"

"I can see more auras now because I know what I'm looking for, but if the aura isn't strong enough, I've found that I get terrible headaches trying to see them."

"Alright," he chuckled absently, drawing a diagram of Saturn, "Well, I wouldn't want you to hurt yourself, but let me know if mine ever shows up? Sorry about Hogsmeade, by the way. There are other ways to get there, you know? You could transform into your fox, and I can smuggle you in."

"How do _you_ know about that?" I asked before sighing and shaking my head. Everyone must know by now, "Maybe. I have to think of everything that could go wrong, though. People will see me once I've transformed back into a human. Besides, someone will surely discover I've gone missing for that day."

Draco paused for a minute, looking up from his homework and staring thoughtfully into the fire. Then a wide grin spread over his face.

"I've got an idea."

* * *

I couldn't believe he talked me into it, but the plan was flawless.

No one would know that it was really Pansy who'd stayed behind.

I also couldn't believe that Draco talked _her_ into it.

I felt a twinge of guilt, but she assured me as we took our Polyjuice potions that she'd rather stay. I knew Pansy was only doing it to make Draco happy, but I still promised she would get to go next time.

Now, I walked with Draco through the village as my brown bob bounced along like the top of a rotting, soggy mushroom. In my pocket was a large vial of extra potion so I wouldn't transform into myself. Pansy had extra potion as well to last us until the Halloween feast that evening.

Draco led me through the sticky aisles Honeydukes as Flint sauntered up to us. I wasn't concerned. He wasn't very bright; certainly not smart enough to figure out our scheme. I doubted he knew Polyjuice potion even existed.

"Sorry your girlfriend couldn't make it," he taunted, smirking, "I would have come up with a way to sneak her out if she were mine."

"Well, she's not yours, is she?" Draco spat, "It's safer for her this way. If she sneaks out and is caught, she'll be in trouble with her father. I'm bringing her back loads of stuff. Besides, you probably couldn't come up with a clever way to sneak her out without getting caught."

Flint sneered and stepped closer.

"You don't deserve her. She'd be happier with me."

"Somehow I doubt that," I spoke up in Pansy's nasally voice.

Flint raised his eyebrows and took a step closer to me. I held his gaze defiantly.

"Yeah, pug face?" he sneered, "You'd be lucky for anyone to want you."

"Back off, yeah?" Draco said, almost like a plea, as he took a step between us.

Flint was still smirking at me, but his nostrils flared - the only indication that he was angry. Then his eyes flashed dangerously when they met Draco's.

"You're going to lose her one day," Flint snarled, "Be prepared."


	10. Chapter 10

**Hey everyone! It's been a while, but I have been in Europe! I went with a group and we visited a bunch of places in London where Harry Potter was filmed or inspired by. Some of these places include Christ Church, the Bodleian Library, Millennial Bridge, and of course the Warner Bros Studios. I had a great time, but the important thing is: I'm still here, and now that summer has started the updates will be coming more regularly. Don't think I've abandoned you.**

 **With that said, enjoy the chapter!**

 **Chapter Ten**

That night, after the feast, I laid on my back, trying to ignore the stiffness coursing through my bloated stomach.

"Thanks for today," I groaned to Pansy, who was laying on the other side of the room in the same state.

The feast that night had already filled our stomachs, upset from drinking so much Polyjuice potion that day. Aside from that, Pansy and Willow had been sharing the sweets I'd brought back from Honeydukes for them. We'd all been snacking on chocolate covered honeycomb and chocolate flies as we worked on our homework.

Pansy didn't answer but instead said, "Remember the Halloween feast from our first year? With the troll?"

"There was a troll?" Willow chimed in.

"Yeah. There was a mountain troll in the school. Draco and I saw it," I explained.

"You saw it?" she replied in awe, "What did it look like?"

"Big," I replied, "Disgusting. And very, very stupid. How come you ask, Pansy?"

"There's always so much drama here," she responded, "Always something new. And Mum says it wasn't like that when she went here. I can only wonder what it'll be this year."

"You mean, besides the dementors and Sirius Black? I'd say there's already enough drama going on here for the year."

"I heard they don't affect you, Raven."

"Well, they feed off of happiness so maybe it's because I haven't got any of that," I half-joked.

"Oh please. You're Draco's girlfriend," Pansy shot playfully, but I could hear the bitterness in her voice, "How could you not have any happiness?"

Suddenly, the door flung open and a rustle of black fabric entered the room.

"You aren't allowed to be here," I said, not hardly even glancing from the ceiling to Snape.

"I am in cases of emergency," he replied, sobering me in a heartbeat.

"What's going on?" I asked, sitting up.

"Miss Parkinson and Miss Cavanaugh, gather everyone and lead them to the Great Hall. As for you, Miss Ashe, follow me."

Suddenly trembling with either fear or excitement, I followed Snape into the empty hallway as we left the common room. We walked in silence as we approached the heavy wooden door to his office.

"You're a stupid girl," he said almost conversationally as he pushed on the mahogany, "Did you really think I wouldn't notice two entire bottles of Polyjuice potion missing from my office?"

I bit my lip.

"Yes?"

Well, not so quickly, anyway.

"Don't think this won't be addressed later," he threatened, pulling me into his study as students began spilling into the hall behind us, "but now there is a much more important issue."

"What do you mean? What's going on?"

Snape shut the door behind us and dropped his voice to a low growl.

"Sirius Black has broken into the castle. The fat lady who guards the Gryffindor common room is distraught. Her portrait has been shredded as well."

"Oh my god," I gasped, "What should I do?"

"You don't _do_ anything for once. You don't even tell anyone what's happened. You are going to follow the rest of your House down to the Great Hall. This will be a secret until Dumbledore decides to tell the rest of Hogwarts."

"Then why are you telling me now?"

"I thought you should know."

"But why no one else?"

He stared at me, pursing his lips, but he said nothing except, "Go, now."

"But why are you telling me if you don't expect me to do anything? Have you told Draco? Who else knows?"

"Dumbledore knows. And the rest of the staff. Now get out."

I knew I would get nothing more from Snape. I was resigned to never uncovering the mysteries hidden in the catacombs and libraries of his mind. Instead, I fixed him with a glare that was meant to scorch. I hoped he could feel the anger in my eyes, but his response was only a chuckle.

* * *

"The teachers and I will need to conduct a thorough search of the castle," Dumbledore announced once all Houses had congregated, "I'm afraid that, for your own safety, you will have to spend the night here. I want the prefects to stand guard over the entrances to the hall and I'm leaving Head Boy and Girl in charge. Any disturbance should be reported immediately. Send word with one of the ghosts."

Draco, Willow, and I stood in a cluster amidst the other Slytherins. Many of the Ravenclaws were huddled closer to us, whispering to themselves about what could have happened.

Pansy was near us. I watched her from the corner of my eye as she tried to scoot past people to get closer to Draco.

"What's going on?" Willow hissed.

"Sirius Black broke into the castle, but it's going to be fine. Dumbledore won't let anything happen to us."

Draco snorted, "Father says we're safer with that oaf, Hagrid, running the school than Dumbledore."

"Everything will be fine," I repeated to Willow.

Dumbledore then walked by us, cutting through the crowd with a few other teachers trailing after him. When he reached the doors, he turned around.

"Oh, yes, you'll be needing…"

Trailing off, he waved his hand over the hall, getting rid of the tables and replacing them with sleeping bags that I at first mistook for giant pillows.

"Sleep well."

Then every student in the school was left in a room without adult supervision. Before the door had even fully shut, everyone was talking about what they thought had happened. Though Willow and I were probably the only ones who knew what had happened, other than maybe Harry, I said nothing. I spoke to no one but grabbed a sleeping bag and found a spot against the wall.

"Sleep next to me and Draco," I whispered to Willow.

I knew Willow was only one year younger than me. She wasn't my baby sister, and I knew she was far from weak. Willow was maybe one of the strongest people I knew, but I had developed a motherly relationship with her.

I wanted her to be surrounded by as many people as possible, far from the door. If no one else was safe, I needed her to be. I swore to protect her, no matter what. I wouldn't break my promises.

"Everyone into their sleeping bags!" one of the older Weasleys started yelling, "Come on, now, no more talking! Lights out in ten minutes!"

"How do you think he got in?" Draco asked me.

"Black? I don't know."

"He couldn't have apparated, could he?" asked Willow.

"No, no one can apparate or disapparate on Hogwarts grounds, can they?"

"Maybe someone on the inside helped him in," she suggested.

"The lights are going out now! I want everyone in their sleeping bags and no more talking!" the Weasley Head Boy called.

Draco and I cuddled closer to each other as the hall was flooded with darkness. Slouching, I rested my head on my boyfriend's shoulder. It wasn't long before his breathing slowed and became deeper, and his good arm fell heavy on my shoulders.

On the other hand, I stayed up all night with my thoughts and worries.

How dangerous was Sirius Black? What if he burst through the door that moment? Where was he? How did he get in?

Then there was Willow's theory about someone in Hogwarts helping him.

Were they dangerous too? Who were they? Could it be Snape, who clearly wanted me to know but couldn't tell me why? Was this something the Death Eaters had been planning without telling me? Let Sirius Black into the school so he could destroy Harry? Or what if the person was a student? Could I be sleeping in the very same room as them? Draco trying to please his father? To calm mine?

Every so often, one of the professors would come in, and I would close my eyes, feigning sleep. But they never stayed for more than a minute to do a round through the hall. When Dumbledore returned, but he spoke to the oldest Weasley.

I couldn't hear everything they whispered to each other, but then I heard the swish of fabric beside me. I looked up at Snape, who was staring back at me. I quickly shut my eyes though I knew he already saw me. He cleared his throat, and I heard another rustle as he straightened his robes. Then he continued to Dumbledore.

"It seems almost impossible that Black could enter the school without inside help," Snape whispered, each consonant slicing sharply through the air.

At first, I thought Snape was whispering loud enough for me to hear on purpose, but then I realized that I could her everyone better. With my eyes still closed, I assumed that they were all moving closer to me.

"I do not believe a single person inside this castle would have helped Black enter it," Dumbledore responded.

Then their voices passed through the door and faded until they disappeared all together. The last thing I heard was Dumbledore swear no dementor would cross the threshold of the castle while he was headmaster.

I exhaled through my nose like a bitter laugh when I thought about the first day of my third year. About the dementor that had attacked Willow in the upstairs corridor.

I wondered what would happen if I told Dumbledore. He couldn't make them leave Hogwarts altogether, could he? That would be ideal, of course, but it was the Ministry's decision. I sighed. There'd be no point in telling him.

Maybe Draco was right and Dumbledore really was useless.

Maybe he couldn't do anything to protect us.

Snape stepped softly back into the room and approached me. He stopped at the base of my sleeping bag, standing toe to toe.

"Black is nowhere in the building," he grumbled, uncaring if anyone else woke up, "You'll be able to go back to your dorm tomorrow."

"You think there's someone on the inside too?" I whispered.

Snape hesitated a moment, watching me through eyes than gleamed obsidian in the dark.

"I know there is," he rasped before turning on his heel and disappearing through the door.


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter Eleven**

"I'm sure you're all wondering why I've gathered you here," Flint began as the Quidditch team sat in front of the common room fireplace, "We need to talk about our upcoming game against Gryffindor."

Because we were operating on Flint's schedule, we were meeting in the middle of the night. Most of our House was already asleep, and I was already in my black silk pajamas.

I yawned. "What about it?"

"This weather," another player answered. He was wearing green flannel pajamas, "It's ridiculous."

"He's right," said Flint, "It's stormed every day this week. We can play in the rain, but it will put us at a disadvantage. If we agree not to play this weekend, we'll tell Gryffindor that Malfoy's arm isn't well enough to play yet and we don't have a replacement. We can switch our games with Hufflepuff."

The rain never bothered me, but I knew that we had a better chance of winning overall if we waited until the next game. That way, Gryffindor wouldn't have an edge, and Hufflepuff would have already lost an extra game.

Besides, Draco's arm _wasn't_ better yet.

"Is anyone opposed?" Flint asked, eyes resting on me as though he expected me to have an issue just to spite him. But when no one said anything, he continued, "I'll talk to Wood tomorrow then. Everyone go to bed, then. We have practice tomorrow morning. Raven, stay a minute. I want to talk to you."

I pursed my lips. When the team was around, he'd hardly addressed me directly, but as soon as the team was gone - once my shield had disappeared - I had no protection.

"What?" I barked after everyone else had gone to their beds.

Not even Draco had waited for me.

Flint didn't respond right away. Instead, he slowly approached me like a cat and a mouse. His crooked teeth reflected through his teeth, as though threatening to tear my meat from my bones.

I stepped back, but the soft underside of my knees met the couch and I fell onto the leather. Flint stood over me, his predatory smirk turning into a full, toothy smile.

"I know you were there, at Hogsmeade."

"Yes," I replied smoothly, managing a humorless smile of my own, "So does Snape."

"But does your father?"

The smile slid from my face. I could trust Snape with certain things - such as not telling my father something like that. He seemed to like me enough to help me remain among the living.

The same could not be said for Flint.

"I can see he doesn't," Flint taunted, "What if I sent an owl to Daddy telling him how you snuck into Hogsmeade by stealing Polyjuice potion?"

"Don't," I pleaded - trying to keep my shaking voice level and strong.

"Just the thought of your father scares you, doesn't it? I bet he couldn't even hurt you like I could."

"He's already hurt me much worse than you could."

"Has he?"

"Careful. Your arrogance-."

"I'll stop you there. It isn't arrogance. It's a fact. Maybe your father can slap you around, but I know different ways that will hurt more."

"My father's done everything."

"Oh, not everything," he chuckled cruelly.

I swallowed hard even though didn't know what he was saying to me.

He was threatening something I didn't know of. It was as though he was sharing an inside joke with himself, but I didn't understand it. He knew something I didn't, but I could tell he wasn't bluffing.

"What do you want?" I asked in resignation.

"I want you to meet me in the astronomy tower Saturday while everyone else is watching the game."

* * *

"Turn to page three hundred and ninety-four," Snape drawled.

I was surprised to find out he was substituting from Lupin as he made his way to the front of the classroom, slamming the window shutters with rapid flicks of his wand. Following his instructions, I flipped through the text until I came to a section on werewolves.

I hesitantly raised my hand.

"What is it, Miss Ashe?"

"This isn't where we are. It's in the back of the book, which means we aren't supposed to be covering this material until the end of the year."

"You are truly the Slytherin counterpart to Miss Granger," he scowled, "I don't care where you _were_. This is where we are for today. I am teaching, and this is the material we will cover."

Snape launched into his lecture, but I didn't want to listen. It seemed that Draco didn't either because he busy doodling and folding the paper into an origami swan. I started reading on my own until something Snape said caught my attention.

"It is the public opinion throughout the other classes that you students don't know a werewolf when you see one."

"I think we'd know if we've seen one," I interjected, immediately regretting it.

But Snape seemed almost pleased. He looked like he wanted to say something but held his tongue. Then I realized that I'd only proved his point - assuming I had seen a werewolf at some point, which I was confident I hadn't.

As Snape continued with his lesson, I second-guessed myself. _Had_ I seen a werewolf without knowing it? There was something off about this whole lesson. Why would he skip to werewolves? If he wanted us to truly learn something complex, why not do the very last lesson in the book? Did this have something to do with Sirius Black? Was he a werewolf?

My eyes scanned the page open in front of me, looking for any reason Snape picked this random lesson. My eyes paused over the words 'Werewolves transform at a full moon'. Of course I'd known that from fairytales, but reading it reminded me that it would be a full moon that night.

Maybe Snape was just in the spirit, or…was Snape a werewolf? That would explain everything!

No, wait. If he was transforming later that evening, I doubt he'd be feeling well enough to fill in for Lupin. Besides, why would he want anyone to know he was a werewolf?

Sirius Black was the only reasonable explanation I could think of, but most of us had never seen him. Also, if he'd been in Azkaban for the past twelve years, people would know if he were a werewolf by now.

Snape must have been trying to warn us about someone else.

But who?

* * *

"I'm surprised you came, Ashe," Flint said, his back to me as he leaned over the railing of the astronomy tower. Large gusts of wind crackled around us, but we were safe from the rain that fell in sheets around our covered circle.

"What do you want?" I snarled, "I had to lie to Draco. I told him I wasn't feeling well."

"I highly doubt this is the first time you've lied to your _boyfriend_."

The way he spat the word made my blood boil and freeze at the same time.

"And I just wanted to talk to you," he added.

When he turned, he was grinning like Borgin the day when Lucius took me and Draco to Knockturn Alley. The day Borgin had massaged my shoulders and pet my hair. I took a step away from Flint, my hand shooting into my cloak for my wand.

"Oh please, Ashe," Flint chuckled, "Come here. I won't hurt you if you behave."

I sneered at him but forced myself to come closer. He grabbed my arm, yanking it away from my wand and pulling me closer, up against the railing with him so that I could feel the mist of the rain against my cheek.

"You're a pretty tough girl, yeah?" he began, making me narrow my eyes in distrust at his compliment, "Makes me wonder why you'd settle for a Malfoy."

"A Malfoy," I laughed, "Draco is more than you'll ever be."

Then he grabbed the back of my neck and forced me to lean so far over the railing that my feet were just barely touching the ground. The only thing keeping me from plummeting to my death was Flint's hand.

"Your life is literally in my hands, so if I were you, I'd be a little more polite."

"I'm sorry," I squeaked, nearly paralyzed coming face to face with death, even though I'd done so at least twice facing the Dark Lord.

"Now, where was I?" he taunted, pushing me further so my toes skimmed the ground, "Ah, yes. Why a Malfoy when you could have me?"

I remained silent. I had so many things I wanted to say. So many insults and curses I was dying to throw at him, but I couldn't. Not when he could kill me so easily if I offended him.

"You don't need to answer, but when I help you stand up, you'll let me kiss you."

"What if I don't?" I shot back.

I hadn't even kissed Draco yet.

"I haven't decided whether I'dl throw you over the edge or tell your father about you sneaking off the Hogsmeade, but I can promise you neither will be pleasant."

I felt like I was going to vomit. At first, I thought it was because I was dangling from the astronomy tower, but it only got worse as Flint pulled me back to my feet. Then he pushed me against the closest column and attacked my mouth with his.

I kept my lips firmly sealed against his probing tongue until he inched me back over to the railing as a warning. I opened my mouth reluctantly, and his tongue shot inside, exploring me. I held my breath to keep back the bile I felt rising in my throat. After what felt like a very long time, Flint released me and I staggered away.

That's how I would always remember my first kiss.

"That's it? You'll let everything go now?" I asked, out of breath.

"Not quite," he chuckled, clearly pleased with himself, "I expect you to give me whatever I want when I want it. If you don't, my threats still stand."

I felt my eyes glimmering with tears, but I bit the inside of my cheek hard so that the pain shocked me out of my hopelessness.

"Fine," I growled.

I told myself it would only be for the rest of the year, then hopefully he'd graduate.

Then he wrapped an arm around me and turned us towards the Quidditch pitch, the silhouette of the hoops were only semi-visible through the wall of rain. I wasn't sure, but I thought I could make out a sea of black slowly rising up on the field.

"What's happening?" I wondered out loud.

"Dementors," he answered.

We sat in silence. My eyes strained to see clearer, but the rain only fell harder, making it impossible.

Finally, I watched as a red dot fell from the sky into the sea of black.


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter Twelve**

I stared through my potions book.

Ever since we started dating, Draco had been perfect. He took care of me, protected me, and laughed with me. He was my best friend and I loved him.

The thought of kissing Flint behind his back - regardless of the reasons - made me feel sick.

I needed to at least tell Draco. He deserved to know, but the anticipation of doing so made my heart beat so hard I could feel it in the tips of my fingers. I planned on telling him that night, when we were in the common room. When we were some place more private than our potions class.

After the Quidditch game, Draco had told me everything that had happened. The black sea I'd seen was apparently a swarm of dementors, and the little red dot had been Harry, falling to meet them. Luckily, he hadn't been hurt, but his broom, which had flown into the Whomping Willow, was smashed to splinters.

Draco explained all of this through his laughter.

He was already having a good day since his arm bandages were finally able to come off. I forced a smile as I thought of how terribly I might destroy his happiness by telling him about Flint.

I was drawn out of my daze when a bloody crocodile heart grazed my cheek and smacked into Draco's shoulder. Many of the Gryffindors chuckled as Draco staggered back a few steps. I shot a glare at Weasley, whose hand was still bloody.

I'd been expecting some kind of apologetic shrug or embarrassment at his own immaturity. Instead, he matched me glare with a sneer of his own.

"Fifty House points from Gryffindor," Snape droned, hardly glancing up from the parchment on his desk.

If I'd been in a better mood, I might have laughed at Weasley's face as it fell, but I could hardly even smirk. When Draco sat back down next to me, he was grumbling. Weasley had found a way to ruin his day, but it would be nothing compared to my news.

I couldn't tell him.

I had to figure it out on my own and hope he never found out.

I couldn't hurt him.

* * *

"Are you coming?" asked Draco as he looped his scarf around his neck.

That day was the second trip to Hogsmeade of the year, which was also the day before we were meant to go home for the holidays. I looked up from the book I was reading as I lounged on my bed

"I can't," I replied grimly, "Remember?"

"Because Snape caught us last time? Please! What did he do? Nothing. If we did the same thing, I doubt Snape would discipline you. He didn't even bother to give you a detention last time."

"I promised Pansy that she could go this time. Besides, we'll be going home tomorrow, and I can get Mother to sign the form."

Draco muttered something under his breath as he turned to leave, but in a second, I was on my feet. I was wearing jeans and a black, lacey sweater, but I threw on my grey pea coat and black scarf. As I passed the doorway, I grabbed my black, velvet gloves sitting on my trunk and followed after Draco.

"I'll walk you out there," I told him, smiling as I slipped on my gloves.

Once I had them on, I laced my fingers with his. I smiled at him, and he returned it, but then I felt a sharp pang in my stomach.

Guilt.

I couldn't keep secrets from him, but he looked so happy. I didn't want to ruin it.

Later. I would tell him later.

We made it to the front doors of the school, and when we pushed them open, ice-cold flurries hit us in the face. Our breath was taken for a moment before we trudged onward through the crunchy snow. When we reached the point I couldn't go past, Draco and I departed with a hug, a kiss on the cheek, and a promise to buy me more candy from Honeydukes.

When he'd gone so far down the snowy path that I could see him no longer, I turned and headed back to the castle. As I walked, the wind bit at my skin, turning it red and numb, but I wasn't ready to go in yet. Walking around allowed the cold to numb me on the inside as well as the outside.

When I finally decided to go in, it wasn't because I'd had enough of the cold. I needed not only to avoid frostbite but also to finish an essay that was due the next day before I left for Ashe Manor.

The rush of warmth from the castle wasn't comfortable. It was a sticky heat, but I continued up to the third-floor corridor regardless. The corridor held my favorite spot for studying and working on essays. It was near Moaning Myrtle's bathroom, the spot where I'd caught Tom Riddle dragging Ginny and Willow into the Chamber of Secrets the year before.

But as I approached my spot, I passed a large statue with someone standing behind it. The statue was an ugly witch with a large hump on her back. I'd noticed it several times but never liked it. Now, as I heard rustling and breathing, I walked around to see who was standing behind it.

"Harry?"

His eyes shot from the paper he held to mine as he poorly tried to conceal the parchment.

"Raven…why aren't you at Hogsmeade?"

"I'm not allowed. What are you doing?"

"N-nothing."

"What's that paper then?"

"Umm…"

"Come on, Harry. After all we've been through? Some people see us as a team. You know, the bridge between Slytherin and Gryffindor. I see us as a team too. You're really going to stop trusting me now?"

He sighed, seeming to consider it.

"It's called the Marauder's Map," he said finally, holding it up so that I could see.

He was pointing to two names directly behind the witch statue.

Ravenfire Ashe and Harry Potter.

I took a few steps backwards, forwards, and to both sides, watching as the name on the map followed. The next thing I noticed was a secret corridor the stretched from where we stood all the way to Honeydukes.

"Brilliant," I breathed, excited, "Can I go with you?"

"You can as long as you don't tell anyone. It could get us both in trouble. Promise you won't say anything?"

"Of course."

"Alright, make sure nobody is coming."

"Can't you tell on the map?"

"I want to focus on the statue. The entrance is pretty well hidden."

I sighed and glanced around, but the halls were completely abandoned. Everyone who wasn't at Hogsmeade was working on midterm assignments.

" _Dissendium_ ," Harry hissed, and the hump of the witch opened up.

Harry went first, head-first. I followed after him and slid down a rough, stone ramp. I could feel the stone grabbing at the fabric of my lace sweater, and I was sure it would be torn when I reached the bottom.

Harry and I landed on the dirt ground in a heap.

" _Lumos_ ," I cast, taking out my own wand as I scrambled off of him, "How far do you think it is?"

"The map says it stretches pretty far," he answered, folding the paper into his robes, "So we better get moving."

We began walking through the dark, dirty passage in silence. The area in front of us felt like it stretched on, but at the same time, it was so dark that it felt like as soon as I moved my hand beyond the light, my fingers would meet a wall.

After a while, we began to talk. Our conversation spanned from school to our excitement for Hogsmeade. We spoke about Quidditch and his broomstick - or lack thereof - as well as care of magical creatures class, which was actually one of my favorite classes this year, right after divination and transfiguration.

"I want to ride Buckbeak again," I admitted.

"Wasn't it fantastic?"

"It was. He's a beautiful creature, and it upsets me to think of what Draco did. I don't like that he got hurt, but I think he's blowing it out of proportion, if you ask me. Besides, I don't think he'll let that go easily. He wants to get Hagrid in trouble."

"I know."

Harry sounded disappointed. He didn't say anything for a few moments, but when he spoke again, the disappointment hadn't gone away.

"You're his girlfriend now, aren't you?"

"Yes," I chuckled.

"Why? I mean, sorry. But he's mean. All he wants is to be better than everyone."

"All he wants," I sighed, "is to be the best _for once._ You're always better than everyone, and he hates you for it. You're so popular and talented and…lucky, so he'll never be the best. He'll never be you, and it hurts him."

"Oh," Harry muttered, watching our feet, "I never really thought about it like that."

"I know. But I don't want you to think that I support everything he does! He can be nasty, and I've been trying to get him to back off a bit. It's just...I don't think he can help himself sometimes."

I smiled at him in the dim light of my wand. We only walked a few more quiet minutes before we found a long line of stone steps. As I began climbing, I couldn't see where the stairs ended. Unfortunately, the end didn't come until nearly sixty steps later, when we encountered a trap door above our heads.

We looked at each other with wide eyes as we tried to catch our breath.

"Is this it?" I whispered.

"I think we made it," he laughed as he pulled out his map.

After searching for our position, he folded it again and listened through the door. When we were sure no one was standing above us, I pushed through the stone. Harry followed until we were both standing in what seemed like a storage room. It was dusty and dark, but cheerful voices were spilling in from the room above us. We followed the few wooden stairs before we found ourselves behind the counter at Honeydukes.

"I need to find Draco before Flint finds me," I muttered to Harry, "I'll see you later."

That was the one thing I hadn't thought of until the threat of people was right before me. Flint could be lurking anywhere, waiting for another kiss…or worse. If I found Draco, we could avoid Flint together. Maybe, if I was feeling brave enough, I'd even tell him about the blackmail.

Harry nodded and crept out from behind the counter to find Hermione and Weasley, who I could already hear arguing about what candy to get Harry. I headed towards the door, not completely sure where to look for my boyfriend. The last time we came here, we went everywhere. There were no specific places I'd know to look. I would just have to walk around and hope Draco found me before Flint did.

First I went to Zonko's joke shop and Spintwitches sporting goods shop, but he was in neither of those places. I checked back in Honeydukes in case I'd missed him in my haste to leave the shop, but he wasn't there either.

Finally, I saw him coming out of one of the shops I least expected him to be in: Gladrags Wizardwear. He held a couple of packages in his hands but shoved them at Goyle when his eyes landed on me.

"Raven! What are you doing here?" he asked in shock.

"There's umm…" I trailed off when I remembered Harry telling me not to tell anyone, but what else was I supposed to say? "There's a secret passage leading from the school to Honeydukes."

"Brilliant! How did you find it?"

"I, uh-."

I couldn't think of a suitable lie fast enough, so I just shrugged.

"Well, I guess all that matters is you're here now."

I smiled.

"I want to take you somewhere," he said.

"Okay."

"Crabbe, Goyle, go find something to do. And take good care of those," he added, pointing to the packages.

Once they'd lumbered in the other direction, Draco took my hand and led my down the snowy street. The village was beautiful in the fall, but now that it was winter, it was picturesque. It looked like all the small, sleepy towns you would find on the front of sparkly Christmas cards or in winter jigsaw puzzles.

"Are you excited for the Christmas party?" I asked.

"Yes! I hate that I missed last year's. I still don't know why father made me stay up at school, but I'm glad he's letting me come home again. Was the party any good last year?"

"No," I answered truthfully, "It wasn't like the others."

"Really? What was it like?"

"Um...it was just like a dinner mostly."

"That sounds kind of boring," he commented grimly, but a smile spread over his face as we approached a small, cute building that looked like it had been dipped in strawberry ice cream.

"Madam Puddifoot's Tea Shop," I read off the sign before giggling at the decorations inside, "This is so cute."

Immediately after walking inside, I was hit with a warm burst of gingerbread air, and the bell over the door tinkling lightly. The tables were adorned with frilly pink table clothes made largely of lace and each had a floating pink orb for light.

"I'm surprised you would want to come here," I said, grinning.

"I...knew you'd enjoy it. I mean, _I_ don't really enjoy being in here, but I enjoy making you happy."

"You do. You make me happy all the time, and you know I love tea rooms," I admitted.

When I was very young, Mother would take me out to tea every weekend. It was just the two of us without Father. They were the most special of days, and I always looked forward to them. They happened very rarely now, but just thinking about those days brought a smile to my face.

Draco took my hand again and led me through the sea of intimate teenagers either drinking tea or kissing, neither of which I'd done with Draco. We sat down at a table near the back, which was dimly lit and offered more privacy. When a waitress came over to take our order, Draco ordered for both of us. He ordered himself an oriental spice tea and me a peppermint chai tea.

"Thank you," I said once we were alone again, "For all of this."

"Merry Christmas," he replied happily.

I giggled a little, but my smile faded quickly.

I needed to tell him now. I couldn't let Flint come between us like this. If Draco knew, maybe we could work through it together. It wasn't as though I had feelings towards Flint, so if I explained the situation, Draco shouldn't feel hurt…right?

"Draco, there's something I need to tell you."

His eyebrows furrowed, and he tilted his head. He knew something was wrong.

"You know Flint?" I began.

"Of course I do."

I took a deep breath, trying not to let my brain talk myself out of telling him.

"He's blackmailing me. He threatened to tell my father that I snuck out to Hogsmeade if I didn't…kiss him."

Draco was silent for a long moment before he spoke again. His face was unreadable, and that scared me.

"Did you?" he asked.

"I needed to," I rushed to explain, "My father would be angry. Flint says he can hurt me in ways that would be worse than my father."

Draco glanced down at my hands, which were trembling, and covered them with his own.

"I'm not upset that you kissed him, Raven. I understand why you did."

But I could tell he still wasn't happy with me.

"Then what's wrong?" I asked.

"I'm upset that you felt like you couldn't tell me sooner. I want you to feel like you can talk to me without me getting mad. I'm not your father. Don't be afraid of me?"

"Okay," I muttered even as I felt a small smile creep over my face.

"You don't…have feelings for him, do you?" Draco asked hesitantly.

"Ew, of course not! He's the reason I almost didn't do Quidditch this year, remember? I hate him."

Draco sighed and my smile faded.

"The next time I see him, I'm going to break his nose," he commented.

"Then he'll tell my father for sure."

"I'm tired of people pushing you around, Raven! You need to stand up for yourself or I will!"

"But my father!"

"Screw your father! He's just another guy! He's human too. He's not immortal. You've taken on the Dark Lord, haven't you? And won? Your father is not more powerful than Him."

"Please," I whispered, "He's different."

Draco's face softened.

"You can't keep this up forever."

"I know."

"And I'm not going to let him kiss you again before you have your first kiss with me."

His hand jumped from my hand to my face, where he tucked a stray brown hair behind my ear. Then it slipped behind my neck. He pulled me forward until his lips brushed mine softly. I kissed him back, but it was much different than when I kissed Flint.

This was soft and beautiful. There was passion, but it was slow and deliberate. It felt like I was drinking wine. It was juicy and romantic, but it felt like I would only get one sip, and I wanted it to last. I wanted to memorize the taste. I got so lost in the kiss that I didn't know how long it lasted, but when it did, it was because our tea had arrived.

We thanked the older woman as she set down our tea pots after she'd poured our cups. I added some sugar to mine, and we talked while we drank.

After I'd told him about Flint, we didn't talk about anything truly important. Just the giddy small talk that comes from romantic dazes. Our first kiss had made both of us dizzy, and by the time we were finally finished with our date, it was already late afternoon.

If I planned on making it back to the castle for supper, I needed to find the tunnel.

Draco walked me back to Honeydukes and, before I left, gave me another kiss. This one didn't last quite as long, but I walked away with the same buzz as before. Then we went our separate ways. He went to find Crabbe and Goyle while I snuck into the Honeydukes storage room to find the secret passage.

I was skipping through the dark tunnel until I nearly crashed into Harry.

"Hi!" I greeted before I could see his face.

"Hey," he replied, but I could tell that he was not as happy as I was. In fact, he sounded angry.

The smile slipped from my face.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing."

"Harry, please. We agreed to trust each other."

"It isn't that," he sighed, "I just don't want to talk about it."

I nodded and let us fall into silence. Though I wanted to comfort him and help with whatever problem he was having this time, I understood not wanting to talk. Sometimes it just took up too much energy to talk about something big.

But after several minutes of silence, Harry began talking again.

"It's about Sirius Black."

"Oh?"

"He's the reason my parents are dead."

"What? How can that be?"

"He was their secret-keeper, and he told Voldemort where they were hiding. That's why they're dead. He's the reason they're dead! He killed my parents!"

"Harry, I know this is hard, but try to calm down."

Whatever had happened since we came to Hogsmeade, all of those emotions were resurfacing, making him just as angry as he'd been when he found out. In fact, he seemed as though he was on the verge of hysterics, which was unsettling. I always thought of Harry as someone really strong.

Seeing him fall apart like this was...scary.

"I'm going to kill him!" he growled through clenched teeth.

"That's a dangerous thing to say. Even more dangerous to do."

"You'll come with me! Everyone knows how powerful you are! I'll be safe if I'm with you."

"No, I can't."

"You can!"

"I might be able to protect you from Black, Harry," I snapped, "But do you really think I can protect you from the Ministry? Fudge? Dumbledore? Do you think I can protect you from Azkaban when they find out you murdered someone?"

Harry yelled out in frustration, but then took a few deep, calming breaths.

"I know how this must feel," I started.

"No, you don't. How could you? You've never lost anyone."

"I've never _had_ anyone! My father beats me, and I rarely see my mother anymore!"

"At least you have parents. What if someone were to kill them?"

"I'm surprised I haven't killed my father myself," I admitted for the first time.

I hadn't even known I'd felt that strongly, but once I said it out loud, I realized how true it was.

"Your mother then. And what if you had a chance to kill the person who betrayed her? Or what about Draco? Draco, his family, and your mother. Any of them? What if someone betrayed them, and they died because of it? Wouldn't you want to kill that person?"

I paused to think, but there was nothing to think about.

Of course I'd want to kill them, but it wasn't that thought that scared me.

What scared me was how I pictured myself killing them. If anyone were to hurt my mother, Draco, Lucius, Fatigo, or Willow, I'd want to kill them slowly and painfully so that they could suffer more than I had.

My answer to Harry's question, however, was clear.

"Yes."


	13. Chapter 13

*****Warning - This chapter contains adult and potentially triggering content. In addition, I apologize for not putting a warning on the last chapter. I didn't realize that would be triggering for some.*****

 **Chapter Thirteen**

When I arrived home for Christmas break, my mother greeted me at the train station with a black eye. She forced a smile and told me that it would be wise to sleep at Malfoy Manor that night.

I'd asked why Father was upset and if I should worry about going home the next day, but Mother wouldn't answer me. She only said that she would send Fatigo with a letter to tell me whether or not it was safe. Any further questions were deflected by saying that the Hogwarts Express platform was no place to talk about such matters.

I thought Mother's letter had come later that night, as I was sitting on one of the leather couches in the sitting rooms. I'd been working on a potions essay that Snape had assigned over the holidays when an unfamiliar owl landed outside the window. I let it in when I was the letter in its talons was not one sent by the Ashe family.

Instead, it had the seal of the Ministry on it.

As soon as I'd taken the letter, the owl flew off, and though I knew I shouldn't open it, I slipped my finger beneath the flap of the envelope. Seeing the letter gave me a strange, anxious feeling that I couldn't place, especially since letters from the Ministry had never been strange coming to Lucius.

When I read the return address, I realized what seemed odd about this letter. It was not from the department where Lucius worked previously. In fact, it was from a department that had no business contacting Lucius:

The Committee for the Disposal of Dangerous Creatures.

There was no reason to contact to Lucius but one - Buckbeak.

I remembered the tea leaves I'd read for Draco at the beginning of the year. They predicted an unfair lawsuit. I knew Draco had told his father about what had happened to his arm, but I didn't know that Lucius had gone to the Ministry.

I ripped open the letter without hesitation and read it on my way to Lucius' office. There would be a hearing for Buckbeak on the twentieth of April. After the hearing, if the Hippogriff was found guilty, he would be executed.

When I reached the office door, didn't even bother knocking before barging in.

"What is this?" I asked through clenched teeth, waving the paper in the air.

"I don't know, Raven," Lucius replied, looking up from whatever he'd been writing, "I can't read it while you're flourishing it in my face."

"It's from the Committee for the Disposal of Dangerous Creatures."

"Ah yes," he said, looking back down at the parchment in front of him, "You remember that beast attacking Draco."

"Buckbeak doesn't deserve to die!"

"Buckbeak?" he asked, the corner of his mouth twitching in amusement.

"That's his name," I snapped, "Take back the charges you pressed against him. Get the people you're bribing to let him go. There's so much you can do!"

"But I won't," he growled, getting up, and walking around his desk, "That _creature_ is a danger to you and Draco as well as the rest of the student body. If the Ministry won't convict that oaf that exposed you to it, the animal needs to be disposed of. I know you don't see it this way yet, but one day you'll thank me for keeping you safe."

"You just don't like Hagrid," I retorted, shaking my head, "No, I won't let you kill Buckbeak. I won't let him die. I'll...I'll free him before the Ministry can even find him."

Lucius stalked closer, and I took a step back, bumping into the wall behind me. The growth spurt I'd hit over the summer made my head reach a little above his shoulders. Regardless, my new height didn't make him any less intimidating.

"Listen to me, Ravenfire. You will not break the law for some silly animal. You will let the Ministry do what it needs to, and you will stay out of the way."

"No, _Daddy_ ," I spat defiantly, "I won't."

I saw anger flash in his eyes as he lifted his hand, as if to slap me again. I flinched away, but the pain I'd been expecting never came. When I looked back at him again, his hand had fallen back to his side, and though he hadn't moved away from me, his eyes were fixed on something across the room. He refused to make eye contact with me as his jaw worked furiously.

"Please," I whispered at last, "Don't do this."

"You can't stop me," he answered, but his voice had softened and he still wasn't looking at me.

My eyes filled with tears, but it wasn't because of the trial. Lucius and I had never fought like this. Yes, he slapped me once, but this was different. We'd been yelling at each other, saying things we never would have before.

And now, as his voice softened and he fought not to hit me…

And my own feelings.

While he stared into space, thinking about how he'd almost slapped me again, I was fighting the urge to reach out to him. I wanted to touch him - his arm, his like the hugs I'd given him before. His body just seemed so strong and protective. And I wanted him to touch me too.

"You lied to me," I murmured, changing the subject, "You lied about Sirius Black."

Lucius finally looked back at me, his face melting into confusion.

"What do you mean? I never lied to you about Black."

"You told me Black wasn't affiliated with the Dark Lord."

"He's not."

"But Potter overheard people talking about him. The Minister."

"Then the Minister is wrong," he hissed, "You shouldn't be speaking with Potter anyway."

"I know, but-"

"Don't worry about Black. He's nobody important."

"Why can't you just tell me?" I argued.

"Your safety would be in jeopardy if you were to run into him, do you understand? I shouldn't need to explain myself to you," he said, both warning and threatening, "And as for the hippogriff - let it go."

"I will never let _him_ go."

An annoyed anger briefly crossed his face before he broke into a smirk.

"You're becoming quite the woman, aren't you, Raven?"

I fought not to think about any hidden implications - they were nothing more than wishful thinking on my part.

"I'm growing up, so yeah. When I'm dedicated to something, I'll fight for it."

Then he reached up and brushed my collarbone with his fingertips. I shivered but refused to break eye contact. It wasn't what I thought it was.

Things I wanted didn't usually happen.

"You and Draco are together now, are you not?" he asked.

"We are," I breathed

His hand slid to the top of my white blouse and began unbuttoning it. I fought to keep my breathing even and to push myself into his hands.

"How much physical interaction have you had?"

"We've kissed."

He pushed his hand into my shirt and cupped my breast through my bra.

For a moment, I thought about Flint and how he'd forced me to kiss him. Forced me to do whatever he wanted so that he wouldn't go to my father with the information he had. Every interaction I'd had with him was against my will.

But with Lucius...I wanted it.

So badly.

"You're so young," he mused, "You have so much to learn."

As he squeezed my breast, my body turned to jelly.

"But Draco…" I panted, knowing I would feel guilty the next day.

"In a few years, Draco will thank me for teaching you."

My eyes fluttered closed as his leg moved between mine, bunching up my skirt. His hand slipped underneath my bra, and the pad of his thumb flicked across my hardened nipple.

"Daddy," I whimpered, as my hips rotated against him.

"Good girl," he purred.

But too soon, he pulled away and went back behind his desk.

I watched panting as he sat back down and resumed working on whatever he had in front of him. My mouth slightly agape, I remained plastered against the wall. My shirt hung open, showing off my red bra. My hair was disheveled, and my skirt was so bunched that I was virtually wearing it as a belt.

There was also an unfamiliar tingling sensation between my legs.

"Go to bed now. It's late."

"But…I want more, Daddy," I blurted.

He smirked, but didn't look up from his paperwork.

"Be patient, little girl. If you're good, Daddy will reward you. Now go to bed."

Sighing deeply, I turned and left the room.


	14. Chapter 14

**WARNING: This chapter contains smut. So, if that sort of thing bothers you, skip to the next chapter. In addition, said smut is between a thirteen year old girl and an older man, so if underage stuff bothers you, also don't read until chapter fifteen.**

 **If anything else I've written bothers you, just stop reading. Don't feel like you need to comment that you don't want to read the story anymore. I'm not writing just for you. Go find something that it more suited to your tastes and let me write for the people who do actually enjoy my work. Thanks!**

 **For those of you still here, I hope you enjoy this chapter :)**

 **Chapter Fourteen**

"You're awfully quiet," Mother observed as she curled my darkening locks, "What are thinking about?"

The Christmas party was no more than two hours away, and everything was set ready. Our family was hosting this year, Mother had made her adored Elixir to Induce Euphoria punch. Besides that, the house had been decorated with icicle chandeliers and sparkling party orbs that looked more like real stars. Now, Mother was carefully tying the gold sash around my fiery Christmas dress.

But my mind was still in Mr. Malfoy's office, replaying the night before.

"Nothing," I lied, smoothing down the sparkling crimson fabric, "I was just wondering…why Father gave you that black eye. What was he upset about?"

"Oh, you know you're father. Getting upset over the silliest things," she said nonchalantly. She even forced a laugh, but I could hear the bitterness in her voice.

"Mother?"

"Honestly, it was nothing. And it had nothing to do with you, I promise."

I forced a smile as Mother looked at us in the mirror.

"We look beautiful together, don't we?" she asked.

"We do. We look so similar too. I don't look like Father at all."

The smile faded from Mother's face, but she said nothing. She only turned around so I could no longer look at her as she headed towards the door.

"Would you please make sure all the food is set out downstairs. Then, when guests start arriving, could you greet them until the Malfoys get here? Then, of course, you can keep Draco company."

"Yes Mother."

I followed her out of the room but went the opposite direction as she did. When I got to the stairs, I slid down the banister after making sure no one was around to see.

In the dining room, long tables stretched along the walls, covered in delicious food. There were cauldron cakes, chocolate frogs, and honeycombs. Another row had every type of meat imaginable, all slow roasted and crispy. In the center of the room, an elaborate bowl made of ice sat on a podium, filled with a purple liquid.

Mother's punch.

I walked down the row of desserts, trying to find pumpkin pasties. Mother knew they were my favorite, so they had to be there. When I found them, I took one from the platter and began eating it as I planned to make my way into the entry hall.

But as soon as I turned to leave, I ran into my father.

"What are you eating? Those are for the party," he barked.

"But…I'm just having one."

Surprisingly, he didn't say anything more. He only scowled and continued down the hall. Evidently, he was in a good mood. I guessed now would be a good time to bring up…

"Why did you tell Snape I forged your signature?"

I regretted mentioning it as soon as the words left my mouth. He froze in the middle of the hallway, and I tensed, prepared for him to whirl around and backhand me. Or start yelling or casting the Cruciatus curse.

But when he turned around, he had a look I rarely on him: confusion.

"I never told Snape anything. I've hardly spoken to him at all this year."

My father was many things.

A liar included.

But somehow I knew that this wouldn't be something he would bother lying about. There would be no reason to keep it a secret. He already knew I hated him. Besides, the confusion was too real.

If there was one thing my father was not, it was stupid. If he were to lie about this, I would be able to find out the truth easily. And that's what I intended to do. All I'd have to do was look at the letters sent to Snape.

When I didn't respond to my father, he turned and disappeared down the hall, leaving me alone with my thoughts.

He couldn't have been lying.

I knew he wasn't, but then who sent the letters?

 _Knock! Knock!_

I hurried towards the door, the confusion on my own face never truly dissipating.

Even though the party wouldn't officially start for a while, many people came early anyway. The only person at the door was Lucius Malfoy, though.

"Hello, Raven. How are you?" he greeted.

"I…umm," I tried to respond, but my words caught in my throat. I hadn't been expecting him this early, without the rest of his family. And I hadn't truly been prepared to see him yet after what had happened last night. "C-can I take your coat?"

"You've never seemed so shy around me before," he teased, stepping past me into the entry hall and handing me his warm, heavy coat, "Whatever is the matter?"

I remained silent, so he continued.

"That dress looks very nice on you."

Silence.

"What do you say? I just gave you a compliment."

"Thank you," I whispered.

"Would you like me to teach you more tonight?"

"Teach me?"

"Well, yes. I taught you how _this_ ," he said, palming my breast again through my dress, "feels."

I gasped and stepped back abruptly.

"My father could be anywhere!"

"Oh please, your father is the least of my worries. So, would you like more tonight? There are still so many things you have yet to feel."

"Yes. I want more," I whispered even softer in case anyone was nearby.

"Good girl," he responded, smirking, "Now, go put my coat somewhere while I find your parents."

Only a little bit after he'd left, more people began arriving.

As the party began, Draco and I walked around, holding hands. Other guests smiled at us and said that we were a match crafted by fate itself. Sometime after dinner, Draco led me out into the garden where a string quartet was playing from the gazebo.

"Would you like to dance?" he asked, smiling.

At Hogwarts, I'd seen Draco when he was happy, but away from the school and Harry Potter, his entire demeanor was much more relaxed. And mature.

"I would love to dance."

Without hesitation, he took me in his arms and swayed with the music. The warm, smooth cello and the lively, legato violin seemed to bring us even closer. We got lost in the music and in each other. We were drunk off of young love and Mother's punch. Time slipped through our fingers as it grew later and later. Neither of us were even on earth until a heavy hand landed on my shoulder.

"Raven," Lucius' voice was low in my ear, breaking us out of our romantic trance, "It's getting late."

While I was obviously reluctant to leave Draco, I didn't want to miss my time with Mr. Malfoy. If I didn't go with him, another chance likely wouldn't come until the summer.

As Lucius moved back towards the house, I gave Draco an apologetic smile.

"What did he say?" he asked.

"My father needs to see me. Hopefully it's nothing like what happened last year."

"What happened last year?"

I bit my lip, remembering that I'd never told Draco that Hermione sent me a Christmas present that my father had intercepted. I wasn't even sure if he knew I was beaten. The only other person present was Lucius, who'd mended my ribs after the toe of Father's boot had shattered them.

"Nothing. Father just got mad about something. I don't even remember what it was. But...I have to go. If I don't, I'll certainly be in trouble anyway."

As I walked through the dimly lit garden, I heard Draco mutter a "good luck" after me.

Lucius knew Ashe Manor as well as I did his.

He walked several steps ahead of me, but I followed him through the hallways to my bedroom. He pushed through the door as I trotted to catch up with him. Once he closed the door behind us, we were left in almost complete darkness.

I could barely see him but felt two strong hands grip my forearms and guide me to my bed. As soon as I was seated, I felt the mattress dip beside me. One of his hands left my arm to disappear down the plunging neckline of my dress. I whimpered softly as he cupped my breast directly.

When he tweaked my nipple, I let out a little yelp.

"Good girl," he growled into my hair. He repositioned both of his hands on my hips and gently moved me to straddle him, "Sit on my lap."

I whimpered again as he continued to play with my breasts.

My mind clouded with pleasure and, once again, I lost all sense of time. A part of me wondered how long I had left with him, but a bigger part was curious about the tingling between my legs. Unable to help myself, I rubbed against his thigh. I felt him smirk against the skin on my neck he'd been nipping.

In response, he slid his hand down my stomach to creep beneath my dress. I felt it slowly glide up my thigh until it reached my black striped, cotton panties. He rubbed me in circular motions with three fingers, causing a loud moan to escape my throat. I immediately bit my tongue, hoping no one downstairs heard me.

I vaguely heard him say something about how wet I was, but I didn't know what that meant. Nor could I concentrate on anything very well. It felt like a coil in my stomach that was winding up. My breath and heart rate sped up as the coil got closer and closer to springing loose.

Looking between us, I watched myself erratically grinding into his hand, every jut of my hips accented by a tiny whimper. I held my breath as the coil wound tighter and tighter.

Then, without warning, Lucius pushed me off of him and stood up.

I groaned loudly in protest.

"I think that's enough for tonight," he said, "I believe it's getting quite late."

"No, Daddy, please," I begged, "More. Just a little more. I'm almost-."

"I know," he interrupted, "But I don't believe you're in any condition to go back downstairs. I'm sure you'd agree."

I looked down at myself. The skin on my chest was gleaming with sweat, as I'm sure my face was as well. I was probably red and blotchy, and my entire dress was pulled crooked and twisted.

"Crawl into bed, and I'll tell Draco you weren't feeling well. And don't even think about finishing yourself."

Reluctantly, I laid back down on the bed. I slipped out of my dress, tossing it to the ground, and slid under the covers as Lucius crossed the room to the door. When he opened it, a sliver of light cut through the darkness, showing that he looked just as immaculate as he did when he entered my room.

Apparently, it was just me that had fallen apart.

"Merry Christmas, Raven," he said before disappearing into the hall.


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter Fifteen**

"I heard Potter got a new broomstick," Draco growled, "A Firebolt."

We leaned against each other in the Slytherin common room, solely lit by the flames burning in the fire. After everyone else had gone to bed, we stayed up late, talking. My head rested against his chest and his arm was around my shoulders.

While he made me feel comfortable and happy, it felt nothing like the touch of his father.

"Oh," I replied but said nothing more.

For the first time, he seemed to truly understand that I didn't care about what Harry had, and he let the subject drop.

"How are you doing?" he asked instead.

"What do you mean?"

"Your father. Did he hurt you over break?"

"Oh, ya know. Not very much."

"What did he do?"

"Just a few slaps. Most of them weren't even hard enough to leave a lasting mark."

"Yeah, I think my father has been talking to him about that."

"Really?"

"He thinks your father is a bit too harsh sometimes."

"Sometimes?" I snorted, "Anyway, speaking of your father, do you know that he's putting Buckbeak on trail? He's trying to get the Ministry to kill him!"

"Yeah," Draco muttered, "You weren't supposed to find out."

"You're in on it? And you both tried to keep it a secret from me?"

"It was to protect your feelings."

"And to keep me from getting involved."

"That was what my father was concerned about."

"You have to get him to stop."

I wanted it to sound like a demand. I wanted to sound powerful, like Draco wanted me to earlier in the year. But it sounded more like a plea.

"I can't," he sighed, "You know I would do anything to make you happy, but father is too far along in the process to go back now. Besides, I think he's excited to get Hagrid fired."

"Just as excited as you are?" I challenged, but Draco didn't respond.

As he stared into the dancing flames, I huffed angrily.

"I'm sorry," he said finally, but I was already on my feet.

"I'm gonna go for a walk around the castle. I'll be back, but hopefully you'll already be asleep."

"Don't be mad at me. It's my father."

"Don't redirect blame. Just-," I paused and shook my head, taking a deep breath. When I spoke again , "Look, I'm not mad. I just want to clear my head."

Shrinking into my fox form, I crept around the fire and through the secret passage I'd discovered the previous year. When I was outside, I shivered and looked down at my paws. The scarlet of my fur looked like splotches of blood in the white snow.

I bounded through the layer of snow towards Hagrid's hut, figuring I'd stay warmer in my fox form. Though at least if I were a human, I'd be wearing shoes. The pads of my feet were already becoming frozen.

As soon as I reached the hut, I transformed again into my human form and knocked on the wood. It opened almost immediately, letting a burst of heat meet me in the winter air. Hagrid stared at me, confused.

"Ravenfire?" Hagrid scowled, "What're yeh doin' out here this late?"

"I…well, I wanted to see Buckbeak," I muttered.

"Yeh want ter see the hippogriff in the middle of the night?"

"This may be one of the last times I get the chance to see him."

He hesitated for a moment, his face relaxing.

I had the feeling that Hagrid never really liked me because of my friendship with Draco. But I also felt that he really tried to like me because of my friendship with the Gryffindors, and because of the way I treated him and his creatures.

After a couple seconds, he nodded and led me outside to the paddock in the Forbidden Forest.

"Hagrid?" I asked as I trotted after him.

"Yeah?"

"I was just wondering...do you think I could ride him?"

"If he lets yeh."

His tone indicated that he doubted Buckbeak would let me near him, and I didn't tell him that I'd ridden him before. But upon seeing me again, Buckbeak rubbed against me, making cooing sound. I smiled and scratched his neck.

Right before the hippogriff sunk to the ground so that I could climb on his back, I caught a glimpse of Hagrid's face. It was a mixture of confusion and a morose type of happiness.

"It's a real shame," he mumbled as his eyes glimmered with tears.

"I've spoken to Lucius, but he won't go back on this," I told him from the back of the hippogriff as he stood up.

"S'pose there's not much more ter do about it now," he said, but then he sniffled and wiped away the tears, "Right then. Be back within the next thirty minutes. Hopefully yeh won't get too cold."

"Thank you again for doing this."

In the middle of the afternoon on a late summer day, the flying had been beautiful, but this was extraordinary! The light snowy crystals fell around us, sparkling. The night, winter air was cold, especially since I was only in my black silk pajamas, but it seemed to swallow me and make me feel warm inside.

When we broke through the forest to the lake, tears began to glimmer in my eyes. The entire thing either was a glittering white field. In some spots, the dusting of snow had blown away to reveal a glossy mirror, though the ice made it look ancient - like it belonged in the castle of medieval royalty.

As we soared, I knew I couldn't let buckbeak die. We shared a bond, and he was the only thing that had the ability to make me feel completely free. Free from everything and everyone. The last thing I wanted to do was to go against Lucius or Draco, but it was time to start taking charge of some things.

"Buckbeak, go down!" I called over the rush of the wind. He lowered us to the lake and landed gingerly, so the ice didn't break under our weight. I climbed down for a moment and walked around to look into his eyes.

"I won't let them take you," I whispered as I stroked his neck, "I don't care what Lucius or the Ministry does to me, but I will not let you die."

Of course, I knew that he had no idea what I was saying, even though I wanted to believe there was something like understanding glimmering in his eyes. I wasn't expecting any sort of answer, but it looked like he nodded once.

Once I remounted him, we flew around for a while longer, but I lost track of time. Content to float above the earth, I let Buckbeak fly wherever he wanted, and luckily he could keep better track of time than I could. When we made it back to the paddock, Hagrid stood outside waiting for us.

"Cutting it a little close, aren't yeh?" he asked as I dismounted.

"Sorry. He's such a beautiful creature."

"I wouldn't get too attached."

"Thank you again," I said, but I felt like I needed to say more. I felt that I was partially responsible for what Hagrid was going through just through my associations. I shifted my weight awkwardly for a few moments before speaking again, "Umm...and if you ever need anyone to...you know, talk to, I'm here? It's just that...I know I'm friends with Draco, but you wouldn't be the only one losing Buckbeak."

The half-giant sniffled again, wiping his nose and eyes.

"Yeh best be gettin' back ter the castle before they notice yer gone."

No one would really notice my absence except maybe my roommates. Draco knew I'd gone, and Snape had stopped paying attention. But I still didn't want anyone to worry about me.

I trekked through the snow back towards the castle when a dark thing swooped in front of me. I fought not to scream, but I couldn't hold back the gasp that seemed to rip through my body. I stepped back, but the dementor only pursued me.

Though it trailed after me, it didn't make a move to attack.

"What do you want?" I asked.

I didn't expect a response because I didn't think the dementors knew how to talk, but it made no indication that it had even heard me. Did it have ears?

It wasn't doing anything at all. It was only standing there, staring at me. And I was standing here, staring back at it. If it were humanoid, it would have been a very awkward encounter, but as it was, I was getting very bored.

I stepped around it.

"Alright," I spoke slowly as it rotated to face me, "I'll just be going then…I guess…"

I watched it over my shoulder as I continued my path, but when it didn't stop me or follow me further, I turned and ran the rest of the way. I'd just turned the corner into the castle when I nearly crashed into Snape.

"P-professor!" I exclaimed, "I-I can explain. I-well, yes...I was looking for...umm."

"Save it, Ravenfire. I wanted to speak with you anyway."

I blinked at him.

"You wanted to talk to me? About the letters?"

"Your father-."

"-didn't send them," I cut him off.

"What do you mean?" he tried to maintain his lazy drawl, but I could see anxiety flash through his eyes.

"You've been giving someone else a wealth of information about me and what I've been doing. Someone who's posing as my father to get to me through you. Can I see the letters?"

He whirled and led me through the corridors. He was walking fast - like he walked when the troll had broken into Hogwarts or when the teachers found out that the Chamber of Secrets had been opened.

I had to trot to keep up with him when we finally reached his office.

He pulled a small bundle of letters from the top drawer of his desk and handed them to me. I only needed to take a quick glance to see who they were from. I knew the handwriting too well. Better than anyone's save for my own. I'd seen so many letters come my own way in this fancy scrawl.

"Lucius Malfoy," I growled, angry, but Snape let out a sigh of relief.

"Thank god. It could have been anyone. It could have been Sirius Black."

"Why? Would he be a threat to me?"

"He's a threat to everyone."

"Don't do that. There's something special about Sirius Black. No one will tell me about him, but I think you would. You've told me a lot of things. You trust me to handle information that no one else trusts me with. You're a Death Eater, and you used to be a close friend of my father's. You know about my prophecy. And if I'm supposed to be the Dark Lord's ensign, why would Black want to attack me?"

"First, Miss Ashe," Snape lowered his voice and took a step closer to me, "I would advise you not to repeat anything discussed here tonight to anyone. The letters, Black, the prophecy, the Dark Lord, Death Eaters…any of it. Why Sirius Black is a threat to you is not something I'm at liberty to discuss. So before you ask for answers you have no right to, I would ask you to consider how much you know that you shouldn't. You've been spoiled with information thus far, but I will not speak of this further."

"What about the dementors?"

"What about them?"

"Why don't they attack me? Why do they just stare at me when they attack everyone else?"

"Knowing your situation, I daresay it's because you don't have enough happiness to feed them. They most likely don't think you're worth their time since you only have a drop - if that - of true happiness."

"...Oh..." I whispered, suddenly feeling a heavy emptiness in the pit of my stomach.

I didn't wait for him to tell me to leave the room. I just dropped the stack of letters on his desk and left his office. My plan was to return to my common room, but after that, I couldn't be alone with my thoughts. I still needed time to talk around.

As I walked, I passed the History of Magic classroom. I would have passed without thinking twice - as I'd done with all the other doors I passed - but there were voices on the other side of this one. And the door itself was cracked open.

I peeked through the small sliver and saw Harry, Lupin, and a dementor. I covered my mouth to stifle a gasp so they wouldn't notice me.

" _Expecto Patronum!"_ Harry yelled, pointing his wand at the dementor.

A silvery fluid-like thing slithered out of the end and pushed back the cloaked creature. I watched in awe. I wouldn't need to know how to defend myself against dementors, but if they came after Willow again, I could protect her if I memorized the spell.

I would ask Lucius how to cast it when I sent him an angry letter about spying on my life at Hogwarts. I vaguely remember him mentioning a Patronus when we spoke about my animagus. Surely he would know.

And he did say I would be powerful enough to cast it.


	16. Chapter 16

**Hello, everyone! Sorry for the slight delay, but I just got back from Costa Rica! I had a great time, and I'm ready to return to posting regularly. I hope you enjoy this chapter.**

 **Chapter Sixteen**

" _Expecto Patronum_ ," I whispered.

It was late, but I still stood in the corner of the Slytherin common room, hoping to see even the faintest spark of silvery blue coming out of my wand. So far, I'd managed a metallic glow at the tip.

In his letter, Mr. Malfoy had explained that I needed to think of something that made me extremely happy in order to properly cast it. He said I should feel a rush of euphoria that I needed to get lost in. He said I wouldn't even notice myself cast the spell.

Snape had told me I didn't have any happiness, but I could still so easily come up with happy memories. The problem was that none of them gave me the elation I needed.

I thought of Draco kissing me and taking me out to tea. When I won the House cup for Slytherin in my first year. Laughing and joking around with Willow. Eating candy from Honeydukes with her and Pansy. The annual Christmas and summer parties. Last Christmas Eve with both Draco and Lucius. Mother's Elixir to Induce Euphoria.

But nothing had worked so far.

In a last effort, I closed my eyes and tried to relive the experience of riding Buckbeak. The wind, the flap of his wings, the shimmering lake beneath of, and the undeniable feeling of freedom.

" _Expecto Patronum!_ " I heard myself whisper more than I felt myself cast the spell. I knew before I opened my eyes that I had succeeded already.

When I did, there was a small silver fox bounding around the common room and circling my boots. A bluish mist trailed behind it, and when I saw it, the fox filled me with even more happiness.

"Wow," another whisper echoed from the stairs. My fox flickered and disappeared as I whirled around.

"Who's there?" I asked the darkness.

"Just me," Willow answered, stepping into the light of the fireplace, "How did you do that?"

"I'm surprised I was able to," I chuckled, lowering my wand. Then my smile faded, "It's to protect you from the dementors if we ever come across them again."

"Do you think you could teach me? I mean, we might not always be together when a dementor attacks."

"Yeah, definitely," I answered, raising my wand again.

"Not right now, though," Willow added quickly, "You look really pale. How long have you been at this?"

I sighed, her words making me realize just how tired I was. I sat down on one of the leather couches nearest to the fireplace.

"A few hours, I guess."

"That was a Patronus, right? Aren't those supposed to be hard to cast?"

"They are."

"You can defeat anything," she breathed, sitting down next to me.

"With a Patronus? I don't think it works on anything except dementors."

"No, I mean, if you can cast a Patronus like that in a few hours, your possibilities are endless. You're so powerful. Maybe even more than Harry Potter."

"Probably not," I laughed, "I saw Harry learning how to cast a Patronus. I'm sure he's mastered it by now too."

Willow shrugged, smiling.

"Have you spoken to Draco?" I asked.

"Well…not really," she answered, "I asked for directions the other day, and he told me where it was. He was nice about it, I guess. I like you two together, by the way. You make a cute couple."

"Do _you_ like anyone?" I asked with a smirk.

"Me? Not really. I guess I just haven't met the right people. There are a couple cute boys in my classes, but I couldn't see myself having what you and Draco have with any of them."

I grinned, trying not to think about Lucius. I'd been rationalizing my actions with him, telling myself that it was different because he was Draco's father - almost like that made him an extension of Draco himself. I told myself that he was only preparing me for what I would have with Draco in a few years. But something about it still felt like I would be hurting Draco if he knew.

"Do you want to go to the Gryffindor-Ravenclaw Quidditch match with me next week? There might be some cute boys at the game"

"Sure," she replied, but then she cast a glance around the room and lowered her voice, "Can I talk to you about something?"

"Of course. Always."

"Well, I guess it's two things. I keep having nightmares about the chamber."

"That's normal," I assured her, "You went through a lot, and no one expects you to be completely okay about it. In fact, a lot of people think you've been really strong about the whole thing."

"The dreams are weird though. They're different than what actually happened."

"How so?"

"Well, I can see my body on the ground, but it's not me. I'm in front of the Dark Lord, and he's taunting me. Then Harry Potter shows up, but I can't help him. Or myself. Then the basilisk starts chasing Harry, and I run over to myself, but my body turned into yours. I go to protect you, but then you sit up with some twisted smile on your face, and you turn on me and Harry. I didn't want to tell you before because I don't know what the dream means. I don't think you're evil. I know you would never betray us for the Dark Lord. But…it was like you were working with him. Like you and V-Voldemort were a team."

"Willow, I would never work with that monster."

"I know. I just don't know what to make of it."

I pressed my lips together, "I'm not sure either. Dreams can mean so many things that only barely resemble the dream itself."

She nodded, but she didn't look convinced or relieved.

"What was the other thing?"

"Well, when the dementors attacked me, I heard my sister."

"You have a sister?"

"Not anymore."

I put a hand on her shoulder as tears began rushing down her cheeks.

"Do you want to talk about her?"

"No...I don't know. She might not have died, but the detectives say when a child has been missing for a certain amount of time, it's assumed…"

"She was kidnapped?"

"I almost was too, but she knew someone was following us. She told me to run and hide in this ditch. I crouched in the long grass for what felt like hours. I heard the car door slam, and I heard them asking where I was - that they wanted two. Then I heard her screaming. Then there was another car door slam, and her screams were muffled. We were both young, but she was a little older. I was eight, and she was eleven."

"I'm sorry, Willow," I muttered, "That must have been horrible. I really don't know what to say."

"Just…don't let me ever hear her screams again."

* * *

A week later, Willow and I were walking to the Quidditch pitch, our boots crunching the thin layer of snow and ice. It wouldn't be long before the snow was gone, replaced by a field of mud. Still, I always preferred the warmer weather.

Even though our team wasn't playing, everyone on the Slytherin team was sitting together. They waved me over, but I shook my head. Draco didn't insist; he knew I wanted to be nowhere near Flint unless I had to be.

Once Willow and I had found seats, I was left wondering why I bothered to show up. I loved spending time with Willow, but we could have done something else. It wasn't as if it was a mystery who would win the game. Not since Harry had the Firebolt to replace his old broom.

The majority of the game passed slowly, and neither me nor Willow were truly paying attention. We were too busy wrapped up in a conversation about our classes and the latest personal project Willow had been working on.

"Wow!" I breathed as she pulled a wand out of her shoulder bag.

It was smooth and black, but the tip was circled in white painted wood. The handle of the wand was also painted white, like there were ivory vines wrapped around it. I had never seen a wand quite like it. This wand was stylish and fun. Others had wands that were beautiful but modest.

This looked like the beginning of a new trend.

"Did you...make that?" I asked.

She nodded, "But there's nothing special about it."

"I disagree!"

"I just mean that it isn't magical. It's made out of regular wood that you can get in Texas. There's no special core, but I hollowed it out enough so that there _could_ be if I had a good core. I started it when I went home for the holidays."

"It's beautiful."

"Thank you," she smiled, "It's kind of rough, but think of it as a first draft. Nothing you would find in Ollivander's, but maybe one day I can open my own wand shop."

I opened my mouth to reply, but then the crowd gave a collective gasp. My head turned so quickly towards the field that my neck cracked. High above us, four cloaked figures had risen in front of Harry, blocking his path. I stood and raised my wand, but Harry had already cast a Patronus at them.

It wasn't in the form of an animal - just a radiating circle of light - but it was effective. The figures flinched back with a cry and...fell of their brooms?

I rolled my eyes as Draco, Crabbe, Goyle, and Flint landed with a thud onto the ground in front of our bleachers, groaning. Harry was already racing away, in hot pursuit of the golden snitch. It was only moments until he caught it.

"Let's go," I said to Willow, loud enough that the boys would be able to hear me, letting them know I disapproved. I got up and pulled her past them as they struggled with their robes. Several other students and teachers began crowding around them.

As we pushed through the throng, I could hear the echo of Lee Jordan, announcing that Gryffindor had won the match, no thanks to "some Slytherin jokesters."

"An unworthy trick!" McGonagall cawed over them, "A low and cowardly attempt to sabotage the Gryffindor seeker! Detention for all of you, and fifty points from Slytherin! I shall be speaking to Professor Dumbledore about this, make no mistake! Ah, here he comes now!"

I was frustrated and embarrassed. I might have expected something like that from Flint, Crabbe, or Goyle, but I had thought Draco was maturing. The side of him that brought me to the tea room in Hogsmeade or danced with me on Christmas Eve would have never done something so stupid and childish.

My cheeks burned as I walked up the path to the castle. Draco's actions reflected directly back on me. I was walking at such a furious pace, I hardly noticed that Willow had to trot to keep up with me. Nor did I notice Harry chasing after us until he caught my arm.

"Raven!" he panted.

I stopped walking and looked at him.

"Hey, I'm really sorry about what they did back there. I promise I didn't know anything about it. I hope you're not mad at me."

A look of confusion crossed his face, but then it dissolved just as quickly.

"Oh, that thing that Draco did? Don't worry about it," he gave me a smile, but I could tell he was still out of breath, "Actually, I caught you because there's going to be a party later tonight in the Gryffindor common room. I thought maybe you might want to come?"

I blinked at him.

"I already asked the others. They all said you're welcome," he rushed to add before I refused, "Willow can come too. I can wait outside for you in case Sir Cadogan changes the password again."

For a moment, I forgot all of my humiliation and frustration with Draco. After the stunt he'd just pulled, I was being invited to a Gryffindor party? And everyone agreed to me being there?

"Yeah, okay," I replied, smiling, "We'll be there."

Although Harry had been smiling, when I agreed to go, his smile got wider. And there'd been concern on his face that I didn't notice until it disappeared.

"Great! I'll see you in two hours?"

"Sounds good."

He nodded and turned to go back to the Quidditch pitch. Willow and I watched him almost prance back to meet his friends as other spectators began spilling from the sides of the stadium.

"That was interesting," Willow commented as we continued to the castle.

"It was," I agreed.

"I think he likes you," Willow blurted.

My laugh came out almost as a bark as I glanced over at her.

"What? Of course not. Everyone knows he has a thing for Hermione."

"Oh, please! You may not see it, but it's you everyone knows he has a thing for. Do you see the way he looks at you? And when he's around you, he acts…nervous. You make him nervous. Besides, why do you think Draco is so mean to him."

"Well, because he's jealous, obviously. But it's not jealousy over me."

Willow shrugged, "All I'm saying is, I wouldn't be surprised if Draco was worried about losing you to him."

Again, I was struck with guilt I'd been feeling about both Flint and Lucius. I'd been staggeringly unfaithful to Draco, even though I managed to justify myself. I didn't want to be the girlfriend people didn't trust. It wasn't me. I was loyal to my friends, so why couldn't I be just as loyal to my boyfriend?

As much as I wanted to tell Willow I would never leave Draco for Harry, I felt that I couldn't even trust myself to stick to such a statement. I would try, of course. I didn't have feelings for Harry, but I hadn't thought I had any feelings for Lucius either.

Lust, yes, but not true feelings.

Maybe I still didn't, but that didn't stop me from acting as though I did.

As Willow and I reached our dorm, I rifled through my trunk, looking for something suitable to wear to a Gryffindor party. I eventually decided on my leather pants and a long, gray sweater, which I paired with a wide, leather belt around the waist. I gathered my hair up in a ponytail and slipped my wand in the waistband of my pants, under my sweater.

Willow wore a black blouse and jeans, with her dark hair pulled back into a short French braid. We were on our way out of the dungeons when we nearly collided with Draco and his friends.

"Where are you going?" he asked, crossing his arms and fixing me with a cold look.

"Umm…," I trailed off, not wanting to lie to Draco but not wanting him to know the truth either.

"Is this about Flint?" he asked, lowering his voice and pretending like Crabbe, Goyle, and Willow wouldn't be able to hear him.

"No," I sighed, "It's just…there's a party in the Gryffindor common room, and I was invited."

His eyebrows shot up as though it was somehow worse than sneaking away to meet Flint - with Willow nonetheless.

"And you're going?" he hissed.

"Well, yeah," I tried to sound casual, "Why wouldn't I?"

"Why would you? Stay here with me. We can cuddle on the couch," he said, wrapping his arms around my waist.

"No, Draco. I'm going to the party."

I pushed his arms off of me and walked around him, going further down the dungeon corridor with Willow.

"Raven, get back here!"

I felt something within me snap, and my cheeks grew hot. Whirling on my heel to look at him, I tried to keep my voice controlled. Even so, I could hear myself almost yelling.

"I won't let you tell me what to do!" I snarled, "Everyone else pushes me around like they're all my superiors! I...I thought you were different."

He blinked at me as his mouth fell open. There was shock in his eyes, as though he was taken aback that I had challenged him, but there was something else in his facial expression. Hurt, maybe? Embarrassed - either by himself or that I'd yelled at him in front of Crabbe and Goyle.

I couldn't make myself care.

Taking advantage of his stunned silence, I turned back around and left the dungeons.


	17. Chapter 17

**Chapter Seventeen**

"Butterbeer! Pumpkin fizz! Peppermint toads! And more!" the Weasley twins were exclaiming in unison at random intervals over the roar of the music and people. Whenever they paused their advertising, it was because someone was testing their products. I was not one of those people.

I threw my head back and laughed loudly at something I didn't completely hear from Dean Thomas. In the blur of noise and dim colors, I was surprised that I even knew who was talking to me. Willow and I stood in a tight circle with a bunch of Gryffindors - Harry not among them.

Both of us held cups filled with butterbeer and wore white frothy mustaches. As we licked them off or wiped them away with the backs of our hands, I smiled widely. When I'd made the decision to be in Slytherin, I never would have guessed that I'd be at a Gryffindor party. They were treating me like I was one of them, and it was enough to make me doubt my decision.

A Gryffindor would have never been allowed at a Slytherin party.

"Raven, come here."

Harry came out of nowhere, grabbing my sleeve and pulling me out of the circle. I glanced at Willow, but she was deep in conversation with Seamus Finnigan. I let Harry drag me to Hermione, who was sitting in the corner with a large, leather-bound book open in her lap.

"Hey!" I exclaimed, now holding my third mug of butterbeer.

"Did you even come to the match?" asked Harry as I fell heavily into the chair next to Hermione.

"Of course I did! I'm very glad we won, and I think you did really well. But I need to read this by Monday," she said quickly, not bothering to pause in her reading, but then she looked up at me, "Raven, are you…drunk?"

"No," I answered as I felt a pleasant pulsing behind my eyes.

"How Slytherin of you."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing," she muttered, looking back down at her textbook. I stared at her for a few moments, my lip curled into a scowl. Offended, I stood up and walked sloppily back to the mass of people.

"Raven," Harry caught me by the arm before I'd gone too far, "Hermione didn't mean anything by it."

"I'm not drunk," I assured him.

"I know you're not."

"I'm just…"

"Buzzed?" Willow offered, appearing at my elbow.

"Yeah."

"Raven, you have nothing to worry about," Harry told me, "There are people here acting more drunk than you who have had far less to drink."

I finished the what butterscotch liquid was left in my mug in one swig. Then I turned on my heel to find the Weasley twins. They would fill up my mug for a fifth?...fourth?...sixth? time.

As I worked my way through the throng of people dancing to the newest Weird Sisters album, my body rubbed too close to theirs. Maybe if I were more sober, I would have felt uncomfortable, but I just rolled my head back and laughed. After what Mr. Malfoy had done to me, this was nothing.

I danced with them as the night faded to color, light, and laughter.

* * *

My eyes opened slowly to the muffled voice of someone shouting.

It took me a moment to figure out where I was. Whatever I was laying on was significantly harder than my bed. Then I remembered passing out as the party was dying down.

I was laying on the floor next to the couch, which was occupied by Willow. My cheek was pressed against the rough, worn carpet, and a puddle of orange sick was lying a few feet away from my face. I was pretty sure it wasn't mine.

Someone stepped over me and rushed out of the common room, but my body felt too heavy to move. My voice was too hoarse to call out. Soon after, the Gryffindor common room flooded with light and people streaming from the dorms behind me. With great effort, I heaved myself into a seated position and shook Willow away.

"Sirius Black! With a knife!" Weasley yelled, rushing downstairs.

"Who shouted?" someone else called, emerging from another dormitory.

"What're you doing?" one of the girls asked, peeking out of their own door.

"I'm telling you, I saw him," Weasley defended.

All the commotion woke me slightly, but that didn't prevent the pounding headache that came with all the light and noise.

"Professor McGonagall told us to go to bed!" someone scolded.

"Excellent, are we carrying on?" Fred or George asked, peeking into the hall.

"Everyone back upstairs!" Percy Weasley exclaimed.

"Sirius Black! In our dormitory! With a knife! Woke me up!" Ron whimpered weakly.

"Nonsense. You had too much to drink. You're having nightmares."

"Now, really, enough's enough!" McGonagall shouted, coming back into the common room with a loud door slam.

"My brother, Ron here, had a nightmare."

" _It wasn't a nightmare!_ Professor, I woke up, and Sirius Black was standing over me, holding a knife!"

"Don't be ridiculous, Weasley, how could he have possibly gotten through the portrait hole?"

"Actually, Professor," I managed through the roar inside my head, "I saw someone leaving the common room moments before everyone came down."

When McGonagall's eyes landed on me, they widened in an unblinking stare. She looked like she was about to have a heart attack. I doubt she heard anything I'd even said. Then her eyes darted to Willow before coming back to me.

" _Miss Ashe! Miss Cavanaugh!_ What on earth are you doing in the Gryffindor common room?"

Her loud, high-pitched shrillness made me wince in pain.

"She was here for the party," someone defended, "We invited her."

"Did you hear what she said?" Weasley cried hysterically, "She saw him leave!"

"I just said I saw _someone_ leave. I don't know for sure it was Black. If it was, why wouldn't he have attacked me?"

" _Because you're a Slytherin!_ "

"Miss Ashe and Miss Cavanaugh," McGonagall began sternly, though much more calm, "It is against the rules to be in another House's dorm, especially overnight. You may stay here until morning if Black is indeed in the school, but I will be speaking to Professor Snape about you."

Willow looked unmoved but I felt the color drain from my face.

If my father found out, he would beat me until I could hardly move. He'd stain our marble floors with my blood. He'd done it before for less serious offenses. But McGonagall was not threatening to tell my parents. It was Snape I would have to plead with.

"Do what you'd like, but Sirius Black could be roaming around the school right now," I told her.

"I highly doubt-."

"Ask him," Weasley requested, pointing towards the portrait hole, "Ask him if he saw!"

She hesitated for a moment, working her tongue along the inside of her cheek. Finally, she whirled around and stalked to the portrait hole. She swung the door open enough for Sir Cadogan to be seen and heard by the entire common room.

"Did you just let a man enter Gryffindor tower?" she demanded.

"Certainly, good lady!"

"You-you _did_? But-but the password."

"He had 'em. Had the whole week's, my lady," Sir Cadogan announced, "Read 'em off a little piece of paper."

The air that had been charged with curiosity turned to dread. Sirius Black had been in the Gryffindor common room, and it seemed as though he would be able to get in whenever he wanted with the passwords. Moreover, he was still roaming around the school.

"Which person," she breathed weakly, "Which abysmally foolish person wrote down this week's passwords and left them lying around?"

I heard a rustling behind me, but I didn't even need to look. The people around me obvious felt the same way. A few of them sighed and rolled their eyes before they even looked over their shoulders to see who had rose their hand.

When I looked back, it was painfully unsurprising to see Longbottom with his hand in the air.


	18. Chapter 18

**Chapter Eighteen**

I was sitting at the Slytherin table in between Draco and Willow when I retold the story of how Black had broken into the Gryffindor common room. Even then, however, Draco's irritation with me only faded a little - replaced not with concern for my well being but with fine grains of curiosity.

He asked for details, but he didn't need to hear it from me. At this point, the entire school was talking about it. Even the teachers had informed everyone when they put new security measures into place. It reminded me of what had happened when the Chamber of Secrets ha been opened - only stricter.

"But you _saw_ him?" Draco was asking in hushed tones, "Sirius Black?"

"Like I already told you-"

But before I could say anything else, the Great Hall was filled with loud screeching as the owls flew through the rafters. Fatigo glided to me and dropped two letters on my plate, getting the corner of one envelop sticky with the jam I'd smeared on my biscuit. As I looked at the notes, my owl picked at my bacon and toast. One was from my mother, probably worried about me after what had happened. The other was addressed in the elegant scrawl I knew so well.

"You would think that after a murderer broke into the school, my father would at least write to make sure I was okay," Draco complained, "But no! Always from Mother."

"Don't worry about it," I comforted, hiding the letter from Mr. Malfoy under the one from my own mother, "My father never writes to me either."

He opened his mouth to respond but was interrupted by Longbottom getting up from the Gryffindor table so frantically that he nearly caught his foot on the bench. Then he sprinted from the Great Hall with a crimson letter in his hand. His grandmother must have found out that Black breaking in was his fault.

I could say his howler surprised me.

"Actually," I told Draco and Willow, "I have to go too. I just remembered I have an essay due later today, and I have to finish up the conclusion."

Before either of them could protest or ask to come with me, I gathered my things and left the Great Hall. On my way, I passed Neville. The echoes of the shouting howler were still bouncing around the walls, and Neville, whose face was the color of the envelop in his hand, looked like he was trying not to cry. Maybe I wanted to feel bad for him, but it served him right.

People could have died last night because of his incompetency.

When I finally reached the Slytherin common room, I ran up the stairs and plopped down on my bed. As I struggled to catch my breath, I tore open Lucius' letter.

Snape had undoubtedly told him what had happened, but at least he was no longer prying into my social life. I'd originally planned to send Mr. Malfoy a letter about that, but I later decided it would be best discussed in person. Regardless, I hoped there would be something a little more exciting in the letter than simply making sure I wasn't hurt.

Unfortunately, there wasn't. Eloquently, Lucius made sure that I was well and that I had learned my lesson about attending Gryffindor parties. The only other thing he mentioned was that my father wasn't pleased.

When my eyes skimmed over the words, I bit my lip and scrambled towards Mother's letter. Hers began the same - saying she was relieved that I was unharmed, but then she, too, talked about my father.

First, he'd grown angry at her, saying she'd raised me as a savage who paid no attention to blood purity. Ignorant, he'd called me. But then he angrily spoke of what he would do to me when I got home. The words may have been said with raging emotions, but the threats were hardly ever empty.

For the first couple nights I was back, she begged me to stay with the Malfoys so that she would have time to convince him to calm down if he hadn't already. Tears sprung into my eyes and spilled over my cheeks.

I shouldn't have gone to that party.

"Raven?"

I looked up as Willow entered the room.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing," I lied as I wiped away my tears with my sleeve.

"Seriously? Come on, we're best friends. We talk to each other. I caught you crying, so don't you dare tell me nothing is wrong."

"My father found out that I went to the party, and he's not happy. I'm not really sad. Just scared. And my mother..."

I trailed off, thinking of what he had done to her. What he could be doing to her right now. When I saw her again, how bruised would she be? How broken? Would her smile be the same? It had already faded so much within the past few years. I hardly recognized her anymore.

Willow took a few hesitant steps towards me, as if I was going to jump out at her like a wild animal. Or as if getting too close would break me like a sheet of floating dust. Eventually, she sat next to me on my bed and wrapped her arm around me.

"You'll live right?"

"Honestly, I don't know."

"You don't know that he won't try to kill you - I'll give you that. But if things get that desperate, I know you can defend yourself, and your mother. I know you're powerful, and you know it too. So if he tries to kill you, you can try back."

* * *

"Miss Ashe," Snape called, standing at the door of his office, "Come in, please."

I crossed my arms as I entered and sat across the desk from him. He sat as well, his cape billowing up behind him before settling down.

"I'm giving you permission to go to Hogsmeade tomorrow with the rest of the students."

"Why?" I shot back. I didn't recall telling him that my father never claimed the permission form signature was forged.

He pressed his mouth into a thin line and exhaled through his nose.

"I'm the reason your father knows about your attendance at the Gryffindor party," he admitted, though he didn't seem ashamed. He held eye contact, threatening me to challenge him.

"I know you're responsible. So now, what? You're trying to mend your conscious by giving me an illegal privilege?"

"You've been going anyway."

"Yeah."

"And while I admit tell your father was a lapse in judgement, you should not have been at the party in the first place. If I didn't think your father's punishment outweighed the crime, I'd be taking away fifty House Points myself."

"Whatever."

"Miss Ashe, I don't think you understand the seriousness of the situation. If Black had looked down and saw you. If he had known you were in the Gryffindor common room that night, he would have killed you. After he left the Gryffindor common room, we suspect he attempted to break into the Slytherin common room."

"Then it's a good thing I was where I was! He never would have suspected me in the Gryffindor common room."

"He got too close to you. All he had to do was look at your face."

"What are you even talking about? Black doesn't want me; he wants Harry. Why would he want to kill me? He's working with the Dark Lord."

"We've had this conversation before, Miss Ashe, and I still refuse to give you any more information. All I can tell you is he's not the man you think he is. Now leave. That's all."

Gritting my teeth in frustration, I stormed out of his office and out into the hall.

Why did no one tell me anything? Was I untrustworthy? Was I too young? Well, maybe legally, but I'd dealt with enough in my short life to give me decades of strength and knowledge.

Besides, if I was really too young, why were they forcing me to be an adult when it came to helping the Dark Lord?

"Raven!" a voice sounded behind me.

I turned to see Harry, so excited he was nearly bouncing on the balls of his feet.

"What's up?"

"You know about the Hogsmeade trip tomorrow, right?"

"Of course."

"Are we going to use the same passage we did last time?"

I paused. I didn't need to be sneaking around anymore. Not with the permission Snape had just given me. But that was between me and him. No one else knew, and no one else had to know. I hardly got to see Harry anymore, so yes, I decided I would spend some extra time with him.

"Sounds good," I told him, smiling, "I'll meet you at the statue tomorrow."

"Okay!" he exclaimed, his smile widening, "See you tomorrow then."


	19. Chapter 19

**Chapter Nineteen**

"You know," Draco drawled as Crabbe, Goyle, and I walked along with him, "I should have an owl from Father any time now. He had to go to the hearing to tell them about my arm. About how I couldn't use it for three months."

Crabbe and Goyle wouldn't be able to tell, but there was a whining in Draco's voice that had everything to do with him not receiving one letter from his father throughout his time at Hogwarts. He was trying to brag about the hearing and Buckbeak's pending execution, but he could only barely mask his disappointment.

As we walked, I tried to tune him out. It was too nice of a day - the sun licking our shoulders and the breeze pushing through the blades of grass, still damp from the melting snow. It was the very beginnings of summer, and I didn't want it to be tainted with complaining.

Eventually, we made our way through the forest to a clearing that overlooked the Shrieking Shack. Draco and I leaned against it while Crabbe and Goyle milled behind us with their hands in their pockets, kicking around the fallen, green acorns.

"Maybe they'll let Buckbeak go," I suggested hopefully.

"Oh please! Do you really think he has any kind of case for his release? I wish I could hear that great hairy moron trying to defend the beast. 'There's no 'arm in 'im, 'onest,'" he taunted, lowering his voice and sounding much slower than Hagrid really was, "That hippogriff is as good as dead, and we both know it."

"Does it make you happy knowing an innocent creature will die just because it scratched you?"

"That thing tore apart my arm!" he defended, his nose wrinkling in a disgusted expression of anger. He whirled from the fence to face me, but his eyes were drawn to something over my shoulder. Suddenly, a smile spread across his face, "What are you doing, Weasley?"

I whirled around to face Ron, who was looking past us at the Shrieking Shack.

He didn't say anything, nor did he acknowledge any of us. Instead, he moved forward, towards another section of fence, as if he were in a trance. I would think he hadn't even noticed us, but the curl of his lip suggested he knew he'd made a mistake. It was just too late to turn back.

And he could ignore us all he wanted. Draco was merciless.

"Suppose you'd love to live there, wouldn't you, Weasley? Dreaming about having your own bedroom? I heard your family all sleep in one room. Is that true?"

I stood awkwardly between them, my head swiveling back and forth like I was watching a tennis match. I felt an odd instinct to protect Weasley, as if he wouldn't be able to take care of himself, but I remained silent.

"We were just discussing you friend, Hagrid," Draco continued, "Just trying to imagine what he's saying to the Committee for the Disposal of Dangerous Creatures. D'you think he'll cry when they cut off the hippogriff's-."

Just as I opened my mouth to interrupt him, a ball of mud splattered on the back of Draco's jacket. I looked at Weasley, but there was no way he could have thrown a mud ball and hit Draco's back. It would have hit him in the face, and Draco would have seen it coming.

Draco was obviously as confused as I was as he spun in a circle frantically.

"What the-? What was that? Who did that?"

Behind me, Weasley was laughing so hard that he had to grip the fence. It wasn't until then that something clicked, making perfect sense.

Since when was Weasley ever without Harry and Hermione?

Besides, I'd walked with Harry through the passageway. I knew he already had the invisibility cloak.

I felt myself start to laugh along with Weasley as Draco shot me a furious look.

"What's so funny, Raven?" he demanded.

"Very haunted up here, isn't it?" Ron said as more mud hit Crabbe and Goyle.

Draco, Crabbe, and Goyle looked like cartoon characters, trying desperately to find the source of the mud while Weasley and I kept laughing. I wiped tears away from the corners of my eyes and tried to stifle my giggles.

Then Crabbe stumbled over something, his shoe snagging on Harry's cloak. Suddenly, Harry's face appeared floating in midair. Somehow, this only added to the hilarity, so even after Weasley had stopped laughing, I only laughed harder.

Draco, however, let out a scream. At first, I didn't think it was him because it was so high-pitched, but then he started bounding back through the woods, back towards Hogsmeade.

"Wait!" I called, but Draco didn't even look over his shoulder.

I took off after him, running so fast through the forest that I tripped over one of the roots sticking out of the ground. I fell hard into a bed of pine needles and soft dirt, but I was on my feet again in an instant - fighting to keep up with Draco so I didn't lose him.

My speed was no match for his because of the adrenaline that was rushing through his veins, but I kept up enough to catch a glimpse of his platinum hair disappearing around every corner ahead of me.

Once I finally caught him, it was only because he and the boys had skidded to a halt on the muddy paths of Hogsmeade in front of Snape. Snow still lined the street, but most of it had melted, which had softened the earth and made walking around a messy affair.

They had froze when they saw Snape, but he looked just as shocked to see us, red faced and out of breath with the boys covered in mud. He curled his lip in a mixture of amusement and disgust.

"Harry Potter was in Hogsmeade!" Draco blurted out, "Or…his head was anyway! I was talking to Weasley and he was alone, but then a bunch of mud flew out of nowhere and hit me in the back of the head."

Snape's eyes darted between all four of us.

"Crabbe, Goyle, did you see Potter too?"

When both nodded, he looked at me.

"Miss Ashe?"

I remained silent, staring back at him. I wouldn't answer him. I wouldn't condemn my friend. He stared back at me for so long that I thought for sure he was going to say something - rescind my Hogsmeade privileges, threaten to tell my father, give me a detention. But he didn't say anything.

Instead, with a swoosh of his cape, he turned to go the other direction.

I thought there was nothing more to worry about.

Until he turned into Honeydukes.

* * *

I had found out that the map Harry showed me months ago had been confiscated, which led to Snape knowing where Harry (and I) had entered Hogsmeade. I wasn't told any details except that no real disciplinary measures had taken place since Snape could not prove Harry wasn't in Gryffindor tower that day.

The next day, I found out that Lucius had sent Draco a letter for the first time ever, telling him that Buckbeak's execution date was being set. He didn't send anything to me, which was probably for the best. It would have started an argument. That didn't stop Draco from sharing the news with me though, making me cry in the middle of the Great Hall.

"I don't cry in public," I had whimpered, burying my head in my arms as I wept, "T-there's still an appeal, right?"

Draco, cheeks burning with embarrassment as I cried, rubbed his hand across my back to comfort me but was clearly at a loss for words. I knew he also felt a weird mix of anger at me for not taking his side and shame for causing me to feel that way.

Later that week, we had Care of Magical Creatures with Hagrid. I spent the time avoiding his gaze. I couldn't stand looking at his red-rimmed, bloodshot eyes. When we were on our way back to the castle, he trailed behind Draco and I with the trio. The four of them talked about Buckbeak and the trial while I pretended I couldn't hear them.

"Have you ever seen anything so pathetic?" Draco scoffed as we entered the main doors, "And he's supposed to be our teacher."

Before I had the chance to say anything, Hermione stepped around me and smacked him hard across the face. She'd entered behind us and heard Draco's comment. My boyfriend staggered backwards, but it didn't matter that he was unable to fight back.

Out of reflex or some bizarre instinct to protect Draco, I threw the next punch at Hermione, catching her in the jaw. She doubled over, holding her face. When she looked back up at me, I'd already drawn my wand.

For a moment, a look of shock and betrayal crossed her face, but then she remembered her anger at Draco - and now at me. Straightening and planting her feet, she drew her own wand, pointing it at me.

Behind her, Weasley and Harry were watching with open mouths, and I could only imagine the looks of Crabbe, Goyle, and Draco behind me. All five stepped away from us, and the other passersby paused to watch what looked like the beginnings of a duel…and a good one at that.

"I don't want to fight you, Hermione, but I won't let you get away with hitting my boyfriend," I snarled.

"He's a foul, evil-."

" _Flippendo!"_

She stumbled backwards a few feet. I'd purposefully made the spell weak, but I needed to cast something to let her know I was serious. But then she laughed.

"That's the best you can do? That's a first year spell!"

"I don't want to hurt you!"

" _Rictusempra!_ "

" _Protego! Expelliarmus!_ "

" _Protego!"_

" _Stupefy!'_

This time, I didn't hold back. I let all of my emotions into the wand, directed at her. The spell hit her squarely and threw her back, across the entryway of the castle. She fell in a heap a few yards away. Before she could get up again, Draco grabbed the sleeve of my robes and pulled me towards the dungeons.

"That was really cool, Raven," he praised once we'd escaped the gaze of the audience that had formed.

"I've cast those spells plenty of times before," I responded dryly.

"It's not even how the duel went. It's that you would stand up for me like that."

I shrugged as Snape stepped out of one of the corridors down the hall, moving to block our path.

"Ravenfire, I don't believe I ever got to talk to you like I'd asked."

"I'll see you later," I grumbled to Draco as he continued on to the common room. Once he was gone, I followed Snape to his office.

"Now," he began as I sat across the desk from him, "During the events that took place in Hogsmeade, you tried to defend Mister Potter."

"I didn't defend him."

"You withheld information in order to protect him."

"So? He's my friend."

"Precisely the problem."

"Lucius already told me that I would have to make hard choices."

"He's right," Snape looked down at his desk and sighed, "You don't want to go down this path."

"What path? What are you talking about?"

"Playing both sides. Having friends in Slytherin and Gryffindor. Being a Death Eater and a…" he trailed off, "Just decide which side you truly want to be on."

"I've been trying, but it's hard."

"You must, Miss Ashe. Do you understand?"

"Yes, I do."

"Now, what happened with Miss Granger?"

"That happened, like, two minutes ago. How could you possibly know about that?"

He gave no answer other than a silent stare.

"She slapped Draco," I answered, "and I just retaliated. He's my boyfriend. Then we pulled our wands on each other. There's really nothing to talk about."

"You mean you don't want to talk about it," he stated.

"That's correct," I snarled in return, "You're not my counselor or my father. I don't answer to you, and gods help me if I turn to you to talk about my _feelings_."

"I care very little about your feelings, Miss Ashe, but you are supposed to be the Dark Lord's ensign. You cannot afford to be upset now from dueling a Gryffindor out of anger. And winning. What will happen when He asked you to kill them?"

"Kill them?" I nearly squeaked.

"Unless Draco is threatened, you're more than happy to frolic with the enemy. Unless they're not the enemy to you at all. Have all of your choices been dictated by your dedication to Draco?

"No."

"Is Draco not the only reason you're in Slytherin?"

I felt my heart skip a beat.

"How do you know about that?"

"Answer the question. You chose Slytherin because it was the best way to keep Draco in your life, was it not?"

"Why does it matter? There were other reasons!"

"Your family, maybe. You didn't want to anger or disgrace them."

"I'm a Slytherin on the inside too!"

"Then prove it!" he snapped, for the first time in the conversation, raising his voice above a mutter. He slammed his open palm against the desktop, making me jump.

I stared back at him, unblinking, but I didn't know what to say in return.

After a long moment, he straightened his robes and say back in his chair. When he continued, he sounded much calmer.

"You don't belong in Slytherin anymore than you do Hufflepuff."

I leaned forward in my seat and hissed, "I belong in Slytherin more than I do any other House."

"Then, like I said, _prove it_."


End file.
